loved this child. I also felt like my eyes were getting a little damp, so I blinked a few extra times to stop that. Granted, there wouldn't be a better time than this to go over a few things. The big question was if I could manage to talk to her about it without making this one of those things that scarred a child for life.
"You know that when I start dating, I probably won't find the right man the first time, right? I mean, I could go out to dinner a few times and nothing else. Or I could have a boyfriend and end up breaking up with him after a few months."
"Duh," she shot back. "I know how dating works. I don't get why Dad was so upset about Pax this weekend, though. He's a year older than Jaime, and Dad's like five years older than you, which makes her even younger by comparison."
"A lot of men think that a woman should be younger than her husband or boyfriend," I explained. "At your age, that makes sense. Girls tend to mature a little faster than boys. But the older you get, the less difference a year makes. Still, our neighbors are quite a bit younger than me."
"So?" She smiled like she'd expected me to say that. "They're cute."
I could only nod. "They are very handsome, but there's more to a good boyfriend than just his looks."
"I know, Mom," she groaned. "But cute does matter. I mean, Roman's cute. You said it yourself. He's also really nice. So is Ian. So is Trent. I don't really know the rest to say if they are or not. But I'll make you a deal. You answer my question, and I'll tell you my big news."
Yep, my daughter was a wheeler-dealer. "What question?" I asked.
"If you could date any of them, which would it be?"
I sighed. "Then I'm not going to get the news because I honestly don't know. They're nice, but I barely know any of them."
"But would you?" she pressed. "If one of our neighbors asked you out, would you do it?"
My mind immediately jumped to Ian's second attempt to ask me to dinner just before she got home. "I don't know. I think I'm scared. It's kinda easier to say no after doing it for so long. Almost like a habit."
She just nodded, accepting that without any judgment. "Roman asked me to be his girlfriend."
I gasped in surprise. "Really? That's great. What did you say?"
Gabby shrugged. "I told him I had to think about it, because you're right. It's kinda hard to just say yes. And then if I am his girlfriend, what comes next? Mom, I've never really kissed a boy before."
"What do you mean 'really'?"
She giggled. "Well, there was Tommy Parker in the first grade, but I'm guessing that doesn't count."
"No," I agreed, "it definitely doesn't. So do you want to be his girlfriend?"
She sighed, the sound much too mature for a child her age. "I think so. I mean, that's ok, right?"
"It's definitely ok, Gabby. You deserve to be happy. It also doesn't mean you can't change your mind, and you don't need any reason to break up beside you wanting to. You don't owe him anything, and if you're not one hundred percent happy, then there are more fish in the sea. At your age, dating isn't about finding the right person to spend the rest of your life with. That would be unrealistic. It's more about figuring out what you like in a boyfriend, and what would make you happy in a partner when you are ready to settle down. Kinda like trying different foods. You can't know if it's good unless you experiment."
She nodded, taking that all in. "Then I'll tell him yes tomorrow on the bus." And she sat up. "Oh, and Mom? You know that whole talking thing goes both ways, right? I get that you're supposed to be the parent and all, but I'm still on your side. I mean, you'll always be my mom, and sometimes it's easier to talk to someone who can't bail if you don't agree."
"I'll try," I promised, feeling a little proud at the wisdom of my little girl. And shocked. But at least I knew I'd done at least a few things right.
Then she stood. "And date one of the neighbors. Just because that would be awesome. I'm going to tell Samantha what I decided." She grinned and headed for the stairs. "Night, Mom."