She was so tough, his E, but she had a soft heart that incited every protective instinct in his body. And the way she was with him—so honest and open in her desire and her adoration of him . . . He wanted her as his mate, tied to him in the most indelible way.
They sat in quiet for much of the drive, but it wasn’t a quiet that irritated and rubbed Alexei’s wolf the wrong way. This was the quiet of two people who understood each other, two people who fit together like a key into a lock.
He squeezed the steering wheel so hard that his bones showed white against his skin. “I have to tell you something.” He couldn’t lie to her, not even by omission.
Memory cocked her head in a listening posture, the action one he caught in his peripheral vision.
“We’re in the mating dance.” It was so fucking hard to get the words out when he wanted so much to finish the dance, claim her as his forever.
Memory blew out a shuddering breath. “You’re fighting it.”
Spotting a section of forest with delicate flowers and undergrowth, Alexei pushed the vehicle into hover mode. “I want you, Memory.” The words came out feral, hungry. “More than I’ve ever wanted anything. But I can’t.” Flashes of Etta’s mauled body on the wall of his mind, of Brodie’s bloody muzzle, of the grief on the faces of Etta’s heartbroken family.
“It’s all right.” Memory’s voice held so much love that he felt kissed a hundred times over. “It’s all right, Alexei.” She touched her fingers to his jaw. “As long as we’re together, as long as I know that your wolf chose me as your mate, it’ll be enough.”
Grabbing her hand, he pressed his lips to her fingers. “I wish—” A harsh exhale. “I will regret not claiming you as my mate for the rest of my life.” His heart twisted and broke, reformed anew. “But I will love you always.” And he would protect her to his last breath.
Never would he hurt her as Brodie had hurt Etta.
Chapter 49
$60
—Price paid by E. David Renault for a street drug
RENAULT PACED IN jagged steps. It was getting harder and harder to think, his brain erratic despite the medicine he’d sourced and taken. It was Memory’s fault; if she’d only stayed in place, none of this would have happened.
Shoving his hands through his hair, he stared again at the blank data feed from the drone. Fucking leopards. They must’ve stolen it and given it a lobotomy. It was none of their business; Memory was his.
Maybe he should go to the bunker and make sure she hadn’t left behind anything that he could use to track her. Too bad she hadn’t left that stupid cat.
He frowned, a sudden clarity in his thoughts: Was going to the bunker a good idea in any way? For all he knew, it was full of wolves.
The haze descended again, and with it went the clarity.
Yes, he should go back to the bunker. The wolves might’ve booby-trapped it, but he was a teleport-capable Tk—he’d be gone before anyone responded. He had to take action, end this now.
Memory needed to learn her lesson.
Chapter 50
Not every wolf is lucky enough to find a mate. It is a gift to be treasured and held close.
—Dalton, Librarian of the SnowDancer Pack
MEMORY ASKED ALEXEI to take her first to the resting place of her treasured Jitterbug. Tears fell from her eyes when she saw that mountain wildflowers had begun to bloom around the small, undisturbed cairn. Patting the cairn gently, she sat for a long time before rising to her feet and sliding her hand into his.
“I met Jitterbug in an alley during a time when Renault had me in the world.” Always with her mind chained, her self bruised from smashing against his shields. “I was still young, and he couldn’t have me with him in meetings without it appearing strange.”
Alexei’s voice was dark when he spoke. “He parked you nearby so he had quick access to you?”
Memory nodded. “I guess when I was younger, the ‘hit’ didn’t last as long. He’d come out to ‘make a call’ or ‘use the facilities,’ and in reality, he’d duck in to initiate a transfer.” She and Alexei walked up the rise down which they’d come what felt like a lifetime ago.
There was no rain today, the mountain sun a searing near-white brightness.
“Later on, he liked to take me as his aide so he could make