hadn’t just eaten a cheese and mustard sandwich and an antique granola bar. He’d ordered his burger rare, and the blood ran on the edges of the plate. He tried really hard to keep his hands in his lap while Lindsey and Seth got their food.
The second Lindsey picked up a fry, Jazz grabbed the burger and ripped a huge bite from it. A couple of little murmuring sounds escaped his throat as he chewed.
Lindsey looked at Seth, who raised both eyebrows. Yes, that kind of hunger must seem weird to a human. Not to a wolf.
Once Jazz slowed down, Seth said, “So you’re excited about the riding lessons?”
“More than, man. I can’t wait to tell the other guys that this great polo champion is going to pay for me to have lessons. They don’t know shit—I mean, they don’t know anything about polo, but they sure like horses well enough.”
Seth gazed at Lindsey. “Might be good to have your grandfather do the arrangements with the boy’s school. The state can be pretty weird about gay men and kids.”
Lindsey nodded. “As if we were more inclined to be pedophiles than all the straight men out there abusing children. Still, it’s a good idea.”
Jazz waved a french fry. “So what’s it like to be gay?” He glanced between Lindsey and Seth.
Lindsey wiped his mouth with the edge of his paper napkin. “It’s hard to say. I’ve never been anything else. My family’s rich, and they’ve protected me to some degree. I’m a decent fighter, so I didn’t get abused as many boys do. What about you, Seth?”
“I’ve kind of been both. I didn’t come out until college, so I know how differently people treat you when they know you’re gay. It’s crap.” He paused and frowned. “As if God created them but not you. As if you’re the work of the devil. There are places in the world where it’s perfectly legal to kill gay people. Imagine if you woke up one day and discovered it was okay to kill you because you have dark-brown hair. You’d run out and dye your hair blond and be desperate for no one to see the roots. Yeah. It’s crap being blamed for something you just are.” He looked up like he had just remembered they were there. “Sorry.”
Jazz laughed. “Lindsey says you’re not supposed to say that.”
Seth crooked his half smile. “Yeah.”
Lindsey winced. Poor kid. If he is homo-curious, that should kill his desire to come out! “There are good things about being gay.”
Jazz shoved the last bite in his mouth. “Yeah? What?”
“Want another burger?”
“Would that be okay?”
“Of course.” He waved at the waitress, who scampered over. “May we have another very rare burger with lots of cheese?” He looked at Seth. “What about you?”
“Apple pie would be good.”
“Great. Please bring three apple pies as well.”
When she left, Jazz leaned forward. “So what’s good? About being gay, I mean.”
What the hell was good? “True love, for one thing.”
Seth’s eyes widened. “What?”
“Think about it. Men and women get together for various reasons. They’re expected to get married by their families or their church. Society offers married couples a lot of benefits. The woman gets preggers, or her biological clock is ticking and she wants a husband to get her preggers. It’s better to have two parents, because raising kids is hard. Stuff like that. For gay men, none of that stuff applies usually. If we’re going to be together, it’s by choice.” He looked down at his hands. “There are lots of reasons not to do it. Being a couple takes a lot of work, and society makes it even tougher by denying us rights. But some men take the risk and commit because they love each other. It’s really brave.” Really wonderful.
He glanced up. The boy and the man both stared at him. Seth was blinking hard.
The waitress brought the food and placed it on the table. She looked at them and hurried away.
Jazz didn’t even grab his burger. “Wow.” He picked up his milk shake glass and sipped the last of the chocolaty mixture. “I’m pretty sure I’m gay.”
So Seth was right. “Why do you think so?”
He shrugged. “The guys always show me girlie pictures and shit—stuff. I don’t get it.”
Seth took a bite of pie but looked very interested. “Not all guys like those big-boobed females. Maybe you like simpler girls. Girl next door.”
Jazz chewed another bite thoughtfully. Swallowed. “Nah. I like girls as friends, but not much more.”
“How do you