I can hide until the world ends."
I finally allowed myself to catch my breath as Jax listened to everything I had to say.
"Spell Travel," he corrected first, which was so unexpected, I had to lean back to really look up at him. "If it was the other way around, you'd certainly correct me."
"You're not wrong," I mumbled as tears began to form in my eyes. "But you're supposed to be mad."
"Why?"
"Because...well...everything I said!"
"Brianne." He pressed a kiss to my forehead. "We knew you were taking care of Elijah."
That had me staring at him as if he just said someone died. Seeing as I was frozen by the news, he kept going.
"We all speculated and knew you'd tell us when you were ready," he confessed. "You've wanted to share but something stopped you, right?"
All I could do was nod, and he gave me a tender smile as he closed his eyes for a moment. "Can I guess why?"
He opened his eyes again, and they held a seriousness to them. One eye was his usual golden beauty with tiny hints of red and orange, while the other was completely black. It reminded me of the poster, leaving me to wonder if Jax and Jaxsin were present.
This was the chance I was waiting for, and I expected to feel that crippling anxiety begin to roll its ugly head to disable me from saying what I'd been denying for what felt like eons.
All I could do was nod again as I waited for him to guess some random answer so I could finally say the truth.
"You still care for Elijah."
"You see I..." The words I'd planned to counter whatever reasoning he gave suddenly stalled as my wide eyes stared into his. I waited for his reaction at my prolonged shock - waited for Jaxsin to be in full control and remind me that I was their Notorious Queen and no one else's.
I waited and waited until the silence was suffocating all on its own.
"You...why...how...?" I couldn't fathom words.
"You closed that chapter with Elijah a long time ago," he whispered. "However, it opened when you found out the potential truth that Elijah was a mere pawn in all of this and was essentially set up to fail, just like Eliza was set up by her sister Elisha her entire life."
He encouraged us to sit up, and I did, while using the blanket to cover myself to try and hide the slight shakiness in my body. It wasn’t like I was afraid of Jax or Jaxsin's response, but maybe I was afraid of losing everything we'd built these last few years.
"I..." No words could replicate what he'd just acknowledged without me even hinting at it. "Why...why aren't you angry?"
"When the idea crossed my mind, I was," he acknowledged. "However, what would it solve?"
He reached out to brush away my tears that spilled down my cheeks.
"I love you. Connor, Finnick, and Kaito love you. We're practically bound by these tattoos, even though we haven't officially activated them yet, and, well, we know you carry a heart that's so full of love. Before you met us, Elijah was your rock. Your bestie who was there for you when you were bullied, outcasted, and ridiculed for your talents and gifts. He was the first guy you fell in love with, and though it may have been just a crush, it doesn't get rid of the past and the fact that he was important to you."
He smiled slightly. "In the beginning, it's not like I disliked Elijah. None of the guys hated him. He wasn't competing with us. The problem was the reality that he was dragging you along like you weren't a queen to be loved, cherished, pampered, and idolized for all the amazing qualities you carried. His bitterness and jealousy were beginning to show, and instead of being a man and admitting he had a crush on you and didn't want to lose you, he pushed you further away and hurt you. That's why I began to despise him. Because he hurt the woman I was coming to fall in love with."
"Jax," I whispered.
"When we discovered the potential that Elijah has been a puppet in all of this, it made me realize what a victim he could potentially be. That the only joy in life he had was the friendship and moments he shared with you. Those weren't tampered with by the plans of the Shadow Kingdom. Maybe it was done on purpose so you'd never realize how