he said, taking the chair opposite. ‘You really took the wind out of my sails the other night.’
‘Did I?’
I felt myself tense up, waiting for the punchline, chat-up line, or any other line he might be about to deliver. But apparently, he was in earnest.
‘Yeah,’ he said, rubbing a hand around the back of his neck and looking uncharacteristically sheepish.
‘I think you’d better explain.’
Truth be told, I’d rather hear it when I was already having a rough night, than next week when I was enjoying a day’s work.
‘The thing is,’ he said, putting his glass on the table and fiddling with the cuffs of his shirt.
I imagined it was an unusual feeling, having his whole arms covered.
‘You might not have realised it, but what you said at the square switch-on really hit home.’
‘Which bit?’
‘All of it, to be honest. I’ve spent so long taking the piss out of Finn that I’d forgotten what it might feel like if I stopped. For years, I’ve been going along with Dad’s opinion of him…’
His words trailed off as he looked around him, but there was no one paying any attention to us.
‘Go on,’ I encouraged, still not convinced his words weren’t part of some elaborate prank.
‘Promise me you won’t breathe a word to anyone else, Freya, especially not Finn.’
‘I won’t,’ I told him. ‘Scout’s honour,’ I added, echoing his half-brother’s words.
‘Well,’ he swallowed, ‘the truth is, I’m jealous of him.’
‘Jealous?’
‘Shush,’ he pleaded, looking around again, ‘yes, jealous. I’ve spent my entire life looking for Dad’s approval by doing and saying everything he wants and expects, but Finn’s had the balls to carve his own path and be his own man, even when it’s been difficult, nigh on impossible, at times.’
The words escaped him in one long rush and I took a moment to study his face.
‘I’m not bullshitting,’ he told me, clearly reading my thoughts, ‘although I totally get why you might think I am.’
‘I don’t think you’re lying,’ I reassured him, because I didn’t. There was absolutely no trace of mischief about him and I was pretty certain he wasn’t clever enough to deliver those lines with such commitment if he didn’t truly mean them. ‘I’m just in shock.’
‘You and me both,’ he smiled. ‘It’s taken a lot for me to say out loud what I’ve secretly been feeling.’
It wasn’t a direct comparison, but it had taken me a while to break off my engagement with Peter, even though I had been harbouring feelings of doubt practically from the moment he slid the solitaire diamond on to my finger. In fact, if Eloise hadn’t happened to come into my life when she did, then I might never have found the courage to do it. Given that I now thought what Zak had just told me was true, then I had bestowed upon him (and in turn Finn), the ultimate ‘pay it forward’ moment.
‘So, why now?’ I questioned. ‘Finn was really annoyed with me for sticking up for him and, to be honest, I assumed you were going to use it against him.’
Zak shook his head. ‘To tell you the truth,’ he laughed, ‘initially so did I, but it didn’t work like that. Your words struck a chord, Freya, and I realised that it was time that I grew up and started acting my age. I even sneaked into the studio when Finn was upstairs in the flat and had a look at those three rabbits he’s been working on.’
‘Hares.’
‘What?’
‘They’re hares, not rabbits.’
‘Same difference,’ he shrugged.
There was plenty of difference, but it wasn’t the moment to explain them.
‘And what did you think of them?’ I asked instead.
‘They’re amazing,’ he said. ‘You’d have to be stupid not to be able to see that.’
As I recalled, when I first set eyes on the trio, that was exactly what I thought Zak and his dad were.
‘They are spectacular,’ I agreed, ‘and we’ve found the perfect spot for them in the garden.’
‘I don’t know how he does it,’ he said, wide-eyed. ‘How can he take a pile of scrap and see that potential and those shapes?’
‘I have no idea,’ I said. ‘Not a clue.’
A beat of silence fell but then I couldn’t resist asking. ‘So, does this mean you’re about to reveal a secret ambition, too?’
‘Nah,’ he said, ‘I’m happy being a builder like my dad, I just don’t want to be a tosser like him anymore, that’s all.’
‘Well,’ I said, ‘I think that revelation is more than enough to be going on with and I like