for what seems like an eternity. Reed’s horrible words play on repeat in my head, making my chest ache with every single beat of my heart, and I wonder how long the pain will last.
After what just happened, I’m not sure I even want to know if I’m pregnant or not. I should have just told Reed I haven’t taken the test yet, that the whole reason I went over to his apartment was so we could take it together, but he was so angry. He refuses to acknowledge how he feels about me, and I was so mad I let him think I took it alone. I wanted him to hurt as much as I do every single day knowing he either won’t admit his feelings or he’s decided he doesn’t feel the same way. I was so sure when this started that he loved me, that he just needed a push to admit it, but with every day that passes and he denies it, I start to lose hope.
I don’t want him to stick around because I’m pregnant and he feels guilty. I need him to be here with me because he feels the same way I do, because he wants us to be a family. I never should have agreed to that stupid arrangement.
I’m not sure how long I stand here staring at the pregnancy test that might change both Reed’s life and mine forever. I don’t even need to take it to know what it’s going to say. My boobs are sore, I’ve thrown up every morning for the last week, and of course, I’m late. All of that adds up to me being knocked the hell up, and by someone who doesn’t have the same feelings I do. After the way he left tonight, I don’t even know if I’ll see him again.
The knock on my door startles me, and my heart begins to race. Is it Reed? Did he come back? I go from thinking I’ll never see him again to rushing frantically to open the door, convinced he’s on the other side and about to tell me I was right. He does love me...and he wants to be with me forever.
My heart drops when I realize it’s not Reed, but Ryker.
I can’t keep the disappointment out of my voice, and his eyes widen when he hears it. “What are you doing here, Ryker?”
“Can I come in?” His voice is soft and sympathetic, and I start to wonder if maybe Reed sent him here to take care of me. I step aside so he can come in but don’t verbally answer. He hesitates for a second, but finally strides past me, stopping briefly to press a kiss to my forehead. My eyes squeeze shut, tears filling them when Ryker gives me the affection I need right now, but I harden my stupid heart against it. I don’t want to need him…I don’t want to need anyone.
Shutting the door behind him, I turn to watch as he heads confidently towards the bar. I don’t realize I left the unused pregnancy test sitting on it until he starts to reach for it. My face heats with a blush when he drops his hand and turns to face me.
“Are you going to take it?” he asks gently.
I ignore the question and fold my arms over my chest in an attempt to keep him at arm’s length. “Again, what are you doing here, Ryker?”
He stares at me, his eyes seeing way too much, before he finally lets loose a heavy sigh. “I came to check on you.”
My spine goes rigid. “Did Reed,” I spit his name out like a curse, “tell you to come here?”
“No, actually. He has no idea I’m here.” Ryker speaks so nonchalantly, as though he has no idea what just took place between Reed and I.
“If Reed didn’t send you, how did you know I needed someone to check on me?”
Ryker’s silent for a minute, his eyes looking everywhere but at me, before he runs a hand through his hair and looks down at the floor. When his eyes finally come back to meet mine, he grimaces. “Okay, don’t freak out.”
“Freak out? All I’ve been doing all day is freaking out. Not doing it is impossible at this point.” Just the fact that he’d say that makes me want to kick him in the balls. Especially since Reed isn’t here for me to do it to him. Ryker knows me well enough to know