bonnet. Without a word, he cupped his hands to give her a leg up. Situating her leg and skirt was as familiar as the horse’s height and movement now.
The way Aaron avoided her eyes was new, though. Was he worried?
Should she be worried?
All morning she’d been nervous, excited, maybe even a little frightened, but not concerned. “Aaron,” she leaned over to whisper, “is everything all right?”
He kept his head down, rechecking the girth and the squareness of the saddle. “Just be careful. You’ve never ridden in a field of six before.”
The worry she’d been avoiding flooded through her until she was very glad she hadn’t accepted Lord Trent’s offer of a sweet bun earlier. Now was not the time to be ill. She took deep breaths in through her nose, letting the scents of horse and leather, grass and dirt ground her to the moment.
She lined up Equinox at the starting pole. Though she did her best to position herself on the end because of the sidesaddle, her competitors were not interested in allowing her to do so. At least two of them were giving her unkind looks. One of them sneered as he guided his horse into place on her right.
Moments later, another horse wedged its way between her and the sneering jockey. That rider gave her a nod before facing forward and preparing to race.
At least she wasn’t entirely alone out here.
In the stillness before the gun, a moment of clarity cleared the trepidation from her middle.
She did not want to do this.
Equinox and Aaron both deserved for this run to happen, not to mention Lord Farnsworth, but she did not want to do this. As much as she loved the animals, the riding, and showing people the joy to be found on the back of a horse, she did not love racing.
At least not from this position.
It wasn’t the same, and she’d been fooling herself that it was. No one was going to see this race and know she could teach them how to high-step a mount through the park and impress their friends.
This race wasn’t for her anymore. It was for Aaron. She would not let his reputation be damaged by her inability to think things through.
Resolve in place, she firmed her grip on the reins and adjusted her hold on the whip. Her position in the middle of the field would make it difficult to use, but she didn’t want to drop it.
One race. She could do it.
The race started, and Sophia’s heart pounded in rhythm with the hooves far beneath her. The energy of the larger group of horses and the enormous crowd rippled over her skin. Sweat beaded on her face and dripped into her eyes before they’d covered the first mile.
She blinked hard and used the back of her wrist to clear the sweat from her forehead as she yelled for Equinox to run.
A jockey in green pressed in on her left. Only years of experience kept her in the saddle as a sharp sting crossed her back.
The man who’d wedged his way in and given her an encouraging nod pulled ahead, and another horse pressed in on her in his place.
Another burn slashed across her leg.
Great heavens, she was getting hit with the other riders’ whips.
She tried to maneuver Equinox, find somewhere to go, but short of pulling him up and quitting, there were no options. Her eyes searched the turmoil in front of her, looking for a hole that would allow her to press the horse forward.
Three more stings drove home that this was not an accident caused by the proximity of rushing horses.
She dropped her whip, refusing to allow herself even the temptation of lowering to their level. She regripped the reins and settled deeper into the saddle.
Time to make a way even if there wasn’t one.
Praying the horses wouldn’t tangle and fall, she steered Equinox to the right, forcing the jockey in blue to either give way or collide with her.
The jockey on her left stayed with her.
Tears were stinging her eyes as they approached the final curve. The way her legs and back were burning, she may never be able to use a whip on a horse again.
Sweat coated her palms until she feared her riding gloves might slip off. Her fingers cramped and spasmed as she gripped the reins tighter and used every method she knew to compel Equinox forward. More speed was her only hope. Even half a length would put her out of the