For The Win (Gamer Girls, #6) - Auryn Hadley Page 0,78

then that meant there was still a chance things could be fine. But what if they weren't? What if those two couldn't accept the idea of her as a woman? What if they cut her out of their lives? What if they hated her now?

"I'm scared," Rhaven finally admitted.

"Of what?" Kate asked gently.

"Of everything!" Rhaven paused to take a drink, needing the alcohol for courage. "All my life, I've heard people bitching about people like me. She-males, trannies, and just about every other slur they could think of. We're not real women, we're predators when we use a public bathroom, and so on. The jokes!" She leaned her head back and groaned. "Just look at all the stuff people say about dating someone like me. How I'm trying to trap a guy, or lie to him, or something. But they don't get that it's not a lie. This is really me."

"Yeah," Kate agreed. "But your friends don't do that, right?"

"No," she admitted. "But what if my family does? What if my dad thinks this is some perversion? What if my brother is laughing with his friends about me being some freak? What if they're nice to my face and tear me down behind my - " She paused when her phone lit up.

Kate saw it too. Casually, she reached over and turned it face down, but they'd both seen the name and number on the screen. That was her father calling, and it didn't seem to be the first time. There had been a number by the missed calls, but Rhaven hadn't gotten the chance to look. Part of her wanted to grab the thing and see just what they had to say. The other part wanted to pretend it hadn't happened.

"What if he hates me?" she asked.

"Then he'd call once, tell you to never come back, and leave it at that," Kate said, and her voice held so much confidence that Rhaven had to believe her.

"Then tell me how I explain this to them? And what am I going to do after the tournament? Kate, I can't go back there!"

"Then come home with me," Kate said. "Adam's fine with it. We have extra rooms - a few, actually." And she grabbed her phone. "And speaking of that, I'm going to have him tell the lobby to clear you now, because that process sucks."

"I can't live with you and Adam," Rhaven shot back. "You two deserve your own space!"

"Trust me, there's space," Kate promised. "And I never said you have to stay. Come back with us so you know you have a home, and then figure it out."

"Do I tell my dad that I'm not coming back?" she asked, her voice tense.

"What do you want to do?" Kate asked. "I'm over here telling you how it's going to be, but you get a say in this too."

"I just..." Her eyes jumped back to her phone. "I want it to be perfect. I want people to accept me like this. I don't want to be a lie, or a secret, or anything else! I just want..." This time, her voice actually cracked. "I want my dad to love me as much as he always has. I want my brother to accept that I'm not his little brother. I don't want to lose them, Kate. I want to go back and make all of this go away, because I was going to tell them tomorrow!"

"Hey," Kate breathed, hurrying around the table to hug Rhaven. "It's ok, sweetie. It's all going to be ok. I know this sucks, but I'm not ever leaving you." Then she leaned back to smooth Rhaven's hair out of her face. "And I called Psyc, who is worried about you. I also called Braden, who's pissed off for you. Psyc's going to tell Riley. Braden's going to tell Dez, who'll tell Cynister. The Kings of Gaming did this, and it sucks, but you are going to come out the other side." She hugged Rhaven again. "And you no longer have to hide who you are. Tell yourself that KoG did you a favor, or bitch about them being assholes. I don't care."

"A favor?" Rhaven asked.

Kate leaned back, using the edge of the table to rest against. "When they doxxed me, I told myself it worked out, because I wouldn't have had the courage to move in with Adam otherwise. For you, this means that you can be you. No struggling to be Ethan at home and Rhaven when