For The Win (Gamer Girls, #6) - Auryn Hadley Page 0,62
else, it would give her an excuse to look away, and sometimes that was vital.
So Rhaven started one. Naturally, the moment she tried to think of the stuff her dad and brother would need to know, her mind went blank. Name and pronouns were easy, since Kate had mentioned it. Then she added changing her ID and legal gender - but she wasn't sure what all was required to make that happen. Around midnight, she finally gave up, hoping the rest would come to her when she wasn't thinking about it.
But the late night meant that her alarm came much too early the next morning. Rhaven crawled out of bed, remembering something else she needed to tell them: hormones. There were different types, and they'd change her body over time. Right now, she was on the cheap and easy pills, but it could change to shots later.
After typing that into her list, she got dressed. For just a moment, she debated wearing a bra, because her chest really was getting bigger. Not that it was huge or anything, but they were more than mosquito bites now. But no, she could survive until after she came out. And if her family really was ok with this, then she'd deal with making a transition plan when she got back.
Because she had this. Tomorrow, everything would be out in the open, for better or worse. For today, she just had to make it through one more shift. Fixing a massive cup of coffee, Rhaven sipped at it as she walked the handful of blocks to the convenience store where she worked. The sky was just turning light when she stepped in the back, and the store was quiet.
"Carl," she yelled, "I'm here."
"Cool," he called back.
So she headed into the office and grabbed her cash drawer. But when she came out, Carl was grinning at her like an idiot. She gave him a funny look as they traded places, but he didn't say a thing. The man simply chuckled under his breath.
"Ok, what?" she demanded.
"You're kinda hot in a dress," he said.
Then the man disappeared into the office. Rhaven almost yelled after him, but someone else walked in, making that impossible. Rhaven pasted on a smile, watching the woman head over to the coffee pot, wondering how Carl - of all people - would know she'd ever worn a dress. Soon enough, the lady came to the counter with her coffee and a granola bar. While Rhaven rang it up, she grabbed one of the newspapers from the rack beside the register.
"This too."
"Sure," Rhaven said, adding it to the total. "Cash or credit?"
"Credit," the lady said.
Rhaven gestured to the card reader, and her eyes noticed something on the paper. There at the top of the Prescord Daily News was a picture of gamers at the Dallas Convention. Beside it was the headline asking "Do You Know Me?" and a close up of her face.
Rhaven's heart stopped, but the sound of the receipt printing shocked her back into motion. "Here you go," she said, passing it over as quickly as she could. "Bag?"
"No, I'm good," the woman assured her.
Then she just grabbed her things and left. She hadn't bothered to look at the picture, but someone would. There were dozens of places that still sold physical copies of the local news. A lot of people still read their stuff in print. Somewhere in town, someone would look at that image and figure it out. Even worse, one of them might be standing right before her when it happened.
She'd just been outed. This, her greatest fear, was happening. Right now, right in front of her face, and Rhaven was completely powerless to stop it. She couldn't get all the papers. She had no way to make people forget what they'd seen. Someone would eventually recognize her!
Just the thought of that made her heart race. Chills ran down her spine and the hairs stood up on her skin. Her stomach didn't just clench, it twisted, warning that it had no intention of keeping those few sips of coffee in place. She was breathing hard and fast, yet still unable to catch her breath.
This was a panic attack. She knew it, but she couldn't make it stop. Even worse, the morning crowd was going to hit soon. Naturally, that was when Carl left the office, lifting his hand to wave bye.
"Carl?" she begged, because she had to get out of here.