grin faded when Alex took my hand—when I let Alex take my hand, even though I’d been kissing Connor. And now I interrupted our lunch and left him alone in my kitchen so I could argue with Alex. What kind of message does that send?
“Alex and I are friends. We grew up together.” I explain how he and Luisa moved in when my mother left. “He’s family.”
Connor shakes his head. “That guy isn’t looking at you like you’re his sister.”
“Well, I’m not looking back,” I say. “He wanted more. I told him no.” I take a deep breath. “We had a pretty big fight Saturday. He had no right to act like that. He has no say in who I kiss.”
“Yeah?” Connor’s voice is quiet. His hand rests next to mine on the table. “You said things were complicated for you right now.”
“With my mother,” I clarify. “And my sisters who don’t know I’m their sister.” I inch my hand a little bit to the left. “I-I thought maybe you were more interested in Granddad than me.”
Connor laughs, and his hand covers mine. I like the weight of it. The way his fingers intertwine with mine. His eyes linger on me, and I lean in, and—
The front door bangs open. “Ivy? Connor?” Granddad calls. I love him more than anyone else in the world, but I could about murder him right now.
Connor sits back in his chair, and I do too, somehow knocking my fork off my plate. It clatters onto the floor. When Granddad comes into the kitchen, I am literally under the table.
“Taking a lunch break? That salad looks good. Is there enough left for one more?” he asks, as clueless as the day is long. He grabs silverware and a plate and pulls out a chair. “How’s the work going?”
“Um, good,” I say, crawling back into my seat.
Connor gives me a shy smile. “I think we’re making some progress.”
Chapter
Eleven
The next afternoon, I decide to stop by Java Jim’s after my shift at the library. Their black currant iced tea is pretty good, but mostly I’m hoping to see Connor. After Granddad showed up at lunch yesterday, Connor and I didn’t have another minute alone. Granddad kept telling stories about Dorothea, and then he insisted on bringing out an old family photo album. We looked at pictures of Great-Great-Grandmother, posing next to the roadster that she and two of her daughters would be killed in; Dorothea, standing on the front porch next to Robert Moudowney before he went off to war; Grandmother, playing in the backyard with thunderclouds in the distance.
Connor was a rapt audience, captivated by the Milbourn family archive. He seems more of a mind with Granddad when it comes to our legacy—that it’s a gift, not a curse; that the Milbourn women were extraordinary, not doomed. But I look at my mother, at Isobel and Gracie, and I don’t know. Will they be okay? Will I?
I really, really want to believe that it’s me Connor wants and not just a Milbourn. He already has the job; he doesn’t need to kiss me to get it.
When I texted with Claire, she asked, Why is it so hard for you to accept that maybe he likes you? I didn’t know how to respond. I guess I feel like there must be some catch. Like being me isn’t enough. In this town, I’m never just Ivy. It’s Ivy Milbourn. Everything I do, everything I am, reflects back on my family.
But Connor smiled at me. He held my hand. He wanted to kiss me, I think.
I definitely wanted to kiss him.
It’s probably not cool to want to define what’s happening between us, but I do. And I know he’s working at Java Jim’s this afternoon.
I’m in no hurry to get home anyhow. Dinner last night was a disaster. I made gazpacho and served it with some of Luisa’s homemade bread. It was lovely for about ten minutes, till Erica warned Isobel that the bread would go right to her hips. Iz stormed upstairs and slammed her door, and Gracie cried because Mama hurt Izzy’s feelings. Then Granddad started railing about the damaging way Erica talks to Isobel, how she’s going to encourage an eating disorder and doesn’t she realize she’s going to pass on her unhealthy relationship with food to her daughter, and also did she really need to drink half a bottle of wine with dinner?
While I did not disagree with Granddad’s points, I thought the middle of