only child like he’d been, no matter what he had to do to make that happen. Even though she’d had to force him to join in her games, he’d only ever complained when Steele was around. Otherwise, he’d play patiently with her, coming up with all kinds of activities her pretend family could do.
Hurting for the pain he’d suffered in silence, Garnet kissed him again, hard enough to draw blood. “Soon as I was old enough to really start to understand what it meant to have children,” she said, wanting him to have zero doubts about this, “I wanted them with you. Why do you think I was so angry when you started dating Balloon-Tits Britney?”
A startled laugh burst out of him, but it faded too soon, his expression solemn. “It’s a big decision. It’ll change all your plans for the future.”
“You were the only constant in my dreams, Kenji.” She had to make him understand that, understand who he was to her. How could he possibly not know? How could he possibly think she’d rather have pups than live a life with him? He was her other half and she was dead certain the only reason they weren’t already mated was because he was blocking the bond with his aggravating, protective, loving need to give her the life he thought she wanted.
“And you know changeling fertility isn’t the best,” she continued when he stayed stubbornly silent. “Yes, I had hopes of having a ton of pups, but I never counted on being able to fall pregnant.”
“Can you give up those hopes?” It was a hard question, but there was something broken in it, in him.
“We don’t have to.” Withdrawing her claws, she petted his chest, coaxing this wolf who was her own. “And no, I’m not talking about the one percent chance,” she added when he stiffened. “I’m talking about Sam and Kieran and Ju and Tanya.”
He sucked in a breath as she listed the names of four of their human packmates. All adopted into the pack as children by couples who had love in their hearts and the desire to shower that love on a pup who needed it. “Does their humanity make any difference to you?” she asked Kenji as he unbent enough to lower his head so she could kiss and caress him more easily. “Do you see them as different?”
“Of course not. They’re pack.” His fingers dug into her skin, his beautiful eyes devoid of defenses and so deeply vulnerable that it hurt. “I just . . . Ruby, the way she is. You wanted that.”
Sliding her arms around his neck, she held him to her. “Sure,” she said, because she had to accept her dreams so he’d know and accept that some dreams were critical, others flexible. “But loving a child, bringing her or him up? That I want more, and that we can do.”
There were always children in need of love in the world and, given the pack’s established and healthy nature, as well as its track record with adoptions, SnowDancer couples rarely had trouble with the process. No SnowDancer had ever returned a child to social services. Once a child was brought into the pack, he or she stayed pack. The end.
Kieran had once joked to Garnet that it was like being in the mafia, but there had been nothing but joy in his expression. A troubled kid of six when he was adopted, his biological mother having died of a drug overdose after his father went the same way two years prior, he’d expected to be dumped as he’d been on three previous occasions. So he hadn’t even tried to be good.
“I didn’t know then how possessive my new family was,” he’d told her. “Or how any stunt I pulled, the maternals had already seen it ten times previously.”
Laughter had spilled out of him. “I’d scrawl all over the walls of our family quarters with a permanent marker and my dad would tell me my artistic technique needed work. Even after I threw down the cleaning supplies and kicked holes in the walls, I still got a kiss good night as they tucked me into bed. And the next day, once I was calm, the three of us would fix those walls together. It took a while, but I finally figured out they wanted me even if I wasn’t perfect. They loved me.”
Garnet knew she and Kenji could love other hurting and lost children just as much. “When we’re ready, we’ll