mom. So much so that I thought I was looking at a picture of myself when she was younger. Except the eyes. She has dark warm-brown eyes. David, my father, has green eyes. I have a mixture of the two.
Halli steps into the room right as I swipe the brush through my locks again. She replaced her normal relaxed attire with black slacks and a white button-up blouse.
“Don’t you look professional today,” I say, attempting to add humor into the serious moment.
She shrugs one shoulder, smiling. “I guess I have to work sometime.” As if she hadn’t been working the last few days. She has these guys on such a detailed schedule, she knows when they pee. Nothing gets by her. Not even Ryker. “You look great, Aspen.” She reaches for the brush to pull it out of my tight grip. “Just try to relax. In these situations, there's no right or wrong. Let things happen, naturally.”
“In these situations? This happens often?”
She sighs. “Unfortunately, this isn’t the first time. It’s the most public, though.”
“That is not making me feel any more relaxed.” I spin in place and walk to the bed, plopping down on it. My feet slide into the black booties and I stand, holding my arms out wide. “Do I really look okay?”
“No.”
“Non? Qu'est-ce qui cloche?” I panic, glancing down at my black sweater, dark jeans, and boots.
She squeezes my arm, pulling my attention to her. “Nothing is wrong. I was kidding.”
My eyes narrow at her. “You’re not funny.”
“I never claimed to be.” She laughs, slipping her arm through mine. Having her around the last week has helped me navigate the unknown. The agency knew what they were doing sending her. “Yes, you look perfect. Are you ready?” She leads me to the door. “You’ve got this, Aspen. If you need to take a mental break and remove yourself from the situation that is totally understandable. Shoot me a glance and I’ll make an excuse for you to leave. This is on your terms.”
The closer we get to the living room, I shake out my hands and my feet freeze right before we enter. A flicker of apprehension courses through me, but then the sound of warm laughter fills the air. It’s her. My mother. The sound is confusingly calming. Halli stares at me, as if giving me all the time in the world. I offer a small smile of gratitude and nod that I’m ready.
She pulls her arm out to straighten her shirt and stands at attention. We walk in and all talking ceases as eyes turn toward us. Specifically, on me. The air thickens making it hard to breathe, my body heats as my nerves bounce off each other. When Beatrice’s eyes lock on mine, tears flood her eyes as she pulls in a sharp gasp. Both she and David stand up from the couch, but only Beatrice walks over to me. I can’t take my eyes off her.
Dreaming about what it would be like to meet my mom was always in the back of my mind. This isn’t the picture I had in that dream. I can’t imagine the torment she went through. Her hand shakes as she raises it and touches my face with the soft tips of her fingers.
“You’re beautiful,” she whispers before catching herself. She yanks her arm back, holding it down with her other as if she can’t help herself. “I’m sorry.”
I shake my head at her apology. “It’s okay. I’m sure I kicked you a few times,” I reply, pointing to her belly.
Did I really just say that?
She laughs, breaking up the awkward buzzing in my mind.
“Yes. Yes, you did. I’m Beatrice and this is David.” She gestures to him. He smiles as he joins us and stands by his wife, wrapping his arm around her shoulders. He’s taller than I expected. Much taller than her. And me.
“Hi. I’m Aspen.” I blow out a shaky breath. “Wow, this is weird,” I blurt out, staring at the two people in front of me. They made me. I wondered if there would be some sort of natural connection, but staring at them, they are complete strangers. It’s more when she talks that I’m pulled in.
“It is,” he says, looking between his wife and me. “But hell, weird or not, I’m happy to see you, kid.”
Beatrice’s body shakes, and she lunges toward me, wrapping her arms around me. After the surprise shift, I relax into her warm embrace and hug her back. Silent