felt.
Guilt over moving on when Mia didn’t have that chance.
Guilt over hurting Emmy so badly.
He couldn’t stop seeing Mia’s smile that last night just before she died or Emmy’s eyes Thursday night when he’d broken her heart.
It had been three days since he’d walked away from her, telling her he needed time. Both of them had read those words for the lie they were.
He’d known when he walked into her apartment, it was over. That he couldn’t keep dating her, not if there was even a slim chance that he might lose her. But, like a coward, he’d avoided saying those words.
No. Avoided was the wrong word.
He hadn’t been able to say them. They’d gotten lodged in his throat, strangling him until all he could do was turn tail and run, dropping that bullshit “I need time” line on her.
He’d spent Thursday night on the floor in front of the door in wet clothing, Seamus curled up next to him. He’d paid for that, waking up the next day with a stiff neck and the mother of all head colds. Since then, he’d called in sick to work, alternating his naps between his bed and the couch, lacking the energy, strength, or desire to do anything else.
Riley had shown up Friday, armed with chicken noodle soup, and his mother had come by yesterday with a plate of leftover roast from the Saturday dinner he’d missed. That was all he’d eaten in the last three days, and he wouldn’t have consumed more than a few bites of either of the meals if his aunt and mother hadn’t planted themselves next to him, waiting until he finished every bit.
Today, while he felt better physically, the bottom had dropped out on him emotionally.
There was no doubt his entire family knew what had happened between him and Emmy. Secrets didn’t exist in the Collins clan.
Riley had asked where Emmy was and he’d choked on the words, simply shaking his head, only managing to say she wasn’t there. He’d been too sick to shield his emotions, to hide the fact that he was down and out due to more than just a head cold. His aunt was too astute, too observant. She had inherited Pop Pop’s sixth sense when it came to knowing things.
He suspected one phone call from Riley to Sunnie, followed by one call from Sunnie to Emmy, was all it would have taken for them to put the pieces together, to discover that he’d broken things off and why.
When his mom had shown up Saturday, he’d expected a third degree. He must have looked worse than he’d realized because she’d given him a bye, not mentioning Emmy’s name at all. Which was good. Because he hadn’t cried in front of his mother since he was a kid. He hadn’t even let her see him fall apart after Mia’s death because she’d been devastated by the loss as well.
But he was damn sure he wouldn’t have been able to hold back the tears if she’d asked him about Emmy on Saturday, his emotions a train wreck, riding too close to the surface.
He closed his eyes wearily and sighed when he heard a knock on the door. He wasn’t surprised someone was there. He was just curious who the family had elected as their spokesperson today.
Rising, he opened the door and spotted his first guess for today’s visitor.
Pop Pop gave him an easy smile and held up a doggie bag from the pub. “Thought I’d see if you had your appetite back yet. Brought you your favorite comfort food.”
“Burger and fries?”
Pop Pop nodded and handed him the bag, which Padraig took with a quick word of thanks.
Rather than open the food, he placed the bag on the coffee table and gestured toward a chair, silently inviting his grandfather to sit down.
“You feeling better?”
Padraig nodded. “Yeah. I can breathe again and my cough is almost gone. I’ll start back to work tomorrow,” he said, even though he wasn’t sure he would follow through on that. Being around people was the last thing he wanted at the moment. In fact, he’d prefer to hibernate right here in his apartment for the next decade or so, but there was no way in hell that was happening. If he didn’t show up to work within the next day or two, a Collins mob would descend to drag him out.
“Good, good. Glad you’re better,” Pop Pop murmured. “I’m sure everyone will be happy to hear that. Your mom and