and the woman hadn’t met?
Regan was surprised. She had used an online dating service before, so she knew how it worked.
“So, if the two of you would have clicked, then you would have considered her wife material?” she asked, trying to understand. The Garth Outlaw she knew preferred handling his own personal affairs, and she would think that would include selecting the woman he might end up sharing his life with.
“Yes, and before you make more assumptions, I was pretty detailed in my specifications. They are thorough when vetting people and have an exclusive clientele. Their match for me rated highly and I thought she might be perfect.”
Regan was trying hard to keep her composure when her heart was breaking. “Yet your perfect woman didn’t show.”
“No, but it wasn’t her fault. It was a dating service error. Somehow there was a mix-up on dates.”
“But you will reschedule?”
He shook his head. “No, I won’t. Her not showing up was a good thing.”
Regan glanced over at him. “Why?”
“Because I was only using her to help me get over my attraction to you. I see now that would not have been fair. And over these last few days, my desire for you has only increased. In fact, I can truthfully say that I desire you more than I’ve ever desired any woman before.”
She fought back the hope that tried to return. She wondered if he realized the power of what he’d just said. What she still didn’t understand, though, was why he’d felt he couldn’t act on his attraction to Regan. Why had he gone to all the trouble of finding someone else?
“You were contemplating marrying her had the two of you hit it off?” she asked again.
“Yes. And there is one thing you need to know, Regan.”
“What?” she asked past the lump suddenly forming in her throat.
He leaned forward in his chair and held her gaze. It was as if what he was about to say was highly important. She had a feeling that, whatever it was, she was not going to like it.
“What is it, Garth?”
“Whereas I was willing to marry another woman, I am not willing to marry you.”
Twelve
Regan snatched her hand from his as if she’d been physically slapped. She felt like she had been. Did he think she was not good enough for him?
As if he read her thoughts again, he said, “Let me explain—”
“You did already,” she said, pushing her chair away from the table. “I got it. I’m good enough to sleep with but not good enough to marry. Can’t have you marrying the hired help, right?”
“Damn it, Regan, that’s not it and you know it. How can you say something like that?”
He honestly had the nerve to ask her that after what he’d said? “I say it because you’re insinuating it.”
“No, I’m not. I would marry you if I could, but I can’t.”
That didn’t make sense. “And why not?”
He paused for a long moment. “My ability to love any woman ended the day Karen died. The woman I was to meet here knew that and was willing to accept a loveless marriage, but I don’t expect you to accept one. I wouldn’t want you to. You deserve better. You deserve to marry a man who will love you the way you should be loved. I wish I could be that man, but I can’t. My heart will always belong to Karen.”
He sighed deeply. “I’m being totally honest with you, Regan. I want you, but I can’t love you, or any woman. All I have to offer is an affair that you won’t forget or regret.”
“For me that’s not good enough, Garth.” She then left the kitchen and headed toward her bedroom.
Regan forced herself to keep walking and not look back. She should be angry with him, but she was only angry with herself for loving him so much and believing that one day he would notice her existence and love her back.
But he couldn’t love her.
She had heard something similar before...from her father. How many times had Franklin Fairchild told her that he still loved her mother and that no other woman would have his heart?
Regan would tell Garth the same thing she’d told her father more than once. He was a man with a lot of love to give and she knew the woman he’d lost would want him to move on with his life and love again.
Those words had fallen on deaf ears with her father, and she knew they would with