of some being forced to stand at attention for a day or more, forced to kneel while being beaten. One report was of a prisoner who was threatened with an unnecessary surgery, no morphine and carried out by people with no medical qualifications.” He shrugs. “Those are some of the physical forms of torture. They also provide psychological torture, which in most cases is worse.”
“Tell me,” I demand.
He resumes pacing. “They are difficult to state, but they will play with your mind through regimens of starvation, sleep, and sensory deprivation. They will prey on your weaknesses. They are not bound by any rules or regulations. They do not care if you leave on a stretcher or in a hearse; all they care about is getting information from you. They will use any means necessary to achieve it.”
“I see.” I figured it would be bad, but I seriously did not expect this. His words put me in a total state of shock.
“Our job is to put you through the same torture so that if and when it happens, you will be able to endure it without giving forth any pertinent information.” He stops pacing and looks directly at me. “Do you understand what I am saying?”
I expected as much, but I have to admit, I’m scared. “Yes, I understand.”
“And do you wish to proceed?”
“This is your chance, Katerina. Now is when you should decline, if that is what you want,” Malcolm says. “I mean, if you think you can’t handle it. Once you commit, there is no turning back.”
I think about it for a minute. It is a big decision, but I know I will be able to handle whatever they send my way, as long as I never lose sight of my ultimate goal. Memories of the past fill my head – watching my father prepare to meet the soldiers who would ultimately kill him and saying I love you to my mother for the last time. And then I see Mikhail’s dead body lying in a heap of bodies waiting to be burned. These are memories that will never leave me and only give me the resolve to continue on. I take a deep breath. I can do this, I reassure myself, if not for me for them. I turn toward Malcolm. “I’ve come this far. No sense in turning back now,” I state. Turning back toward Gerhardt, I say, “I’m not leaving.”
“Good. We start tomorrow.” He looks at Malcolm. “She’s is a tough one.”
Malcom smiles from ear to ear. “She sure as hell is. I assure you, Gerhardt, you won’t be disappointed.”
“I’m beginning to believe that.”
As much as I hate the fact this journey begins with me working for the Germans, I cannot help the sense of pride that fills me from the praise of both of these men.
Gerhardt walks up to Malcolm and shakes his hand. “Good to see you, Malcolm.” He then turns toward me. “Katerina, I expect you to be downstairs tomorrow morning at six a.m. sharp. We do not tolerate tardiness no matter what the excuse.” He walks to the door and opens it, gesturing to us both to indicate it is time to leave. He didn’t even give me a chance to respond, not that he really needed a response.
Malcolm and I proceed out the door, and a woman is standing outside.
“I’m here to take you to your room.” She does not speak in a friendly manner and reminds me of a governess I disliked immensely when I was a child. The woman turns, not saying another word, and ascends the steps. Malcolm and I follow her.
She takes me to my room, and oddly enough, Malcolm comes too. It is down a long hallway at the very far end. When she unlocks the door, I peer inside. The room is small with a single-sized cot, a desk and chair, a nightstand, and a small dresser for the few clothes I was allowed to bring. At least it is nicer than our flat in Paris, and the roof doesn’t leak. She gestures for us to enter.
Stepping inside, Malcolm says, “I think it is important for you to know, you are the only girl in training.”
“I am?”
“Yes. There…” He hesitates. “Will be some sacrifices you will need to make.” He walks to the window. “There are six other men here. I was able to secure a lock for your door, but unfortunately, you will have to share a common bathroom. I also had them put