fingers caressing her nipples, he said, "Exactly how many of those guys out there have you already been with tonight?"
"That's a creepy thing to say."
"You came here with somebody. And considering you're the only girl here—"
"You know I don't care for anybody else like I do you, Johnny."
"You're a whore, Dolores. And a liar."
"It just so happens that I enjoy the finer things in life. Sex happens to be one of them."
"You are on the pill, right?"
"Yes."
He drank the beer so fast his eyes watered. But his cheek didn't hurt any longer and the image of his father shoving a gun muzzle against his temple became as blurred around the edges as the vision of Dolores lying spread-eagled in front of him, massaging her breasts and pumping her hips in invitation. "You look like a porno chick," he murmured, allowing the can to roll out of his hand and off the bed.
"Well it doesn't seem to be getting me anywhere," she replied, exasperated. Propping up on her elbows, she stared at him. "Don't tell me you're too drunk now to get it up."
"I'm gonna make you wish you hadn't said that."
"Promises, promises. You know what your problem is, Johnny? You haven't ever looked upon sex as like … recreational. You think it's supposed to mean something. Until you decide just to let yourself go and have fun with it you're never going to reap the benefits."
He climbed over her, rocking back and forth on his hands and knees; the bed felt as if it were rolling like a canoe on waves. Grinning, Dolores slid her hand down his belly and wrapped her fingers around him.
"You know I love you, Johnny. We're a team. We're gonna make it out of this hellhole, you just wait. You won't have to let your father beat you up any more and I won't have to live in that hovel on the reservation. Tell me you love me, Johnny. Just once."
He kissed her as he slid inside her, sank deep, drawn deep as she lifted her legs around his waist and clutched him close. "I don't love you," he whispered as she squirmed against him, making little whimpering noises in her throat. She didn't seem to hear him. Or maybe she simply did not care. He was not the only boy who used her body; there were plenty, and probably most of them were more than willing to tell her what she wanted to hear even if it was a lie. But he had never used those three words to anyone. Not to his mother or father. Not Dolores or the few girls he had made it with since turning fourteen. There had never been a person worthy of them … until he happened one day to see Leah Foster riding her stallion along a creek bed that skirted her father's property. He had known for certain the day she smiled up at him from Norman's convertible.
As the traffic light turned green, Johnny eased his foot off the clutch, gave the truck a little gas, then felt it shiver, sputter, tremble like an animal in death throes before dying. He pumped the clutch and turned the ignition. Nothing.
The car behind him blasted its horn. Johnny glanced up into the rearview mirror, frowning as the car's bright lights reflected back into his eyes. He tried the ignition a second time, then slammed his fist against the steering wheel and shoved open the door.
He was too damn drunk for this. He should have gone home immediately after leaving Dolores, but the idea of facing his father when he had had this much to drink was not a good idea. He had never lifted a hand against his father and he wanted to keep it that way.
With horns blaring behind him, Johnny at last managed to lift the hood of the old Dodge. The traffic light cast an orange glow over the engine parts before turning red.
"Hey, buddy, you gonna move this heap tonight or what?"
Johnny looked up. A middle-aged man with a beer belly straining at his shirt buttons stared at him, hands on his hips, a Stetson shoved back on his head. He wore a gaudy Rolex watch encrusted with gold nuggets and diamonds, and his belt buckle, or what Johnny could see of it below the man's belly, was a gold-and-silver replica of Texas. Johnny had seen a thousand of him—a Texas oil man with a stable full of quarterhorses. They moved into Ruidoso like