agent until she called to thank me for playing at her wedding.”
“So, this is real? You didn’t tell her who I was, did you?” Worry creased my timid excitement.
“No. I didn’t tell her who you were. I told her you had notoriety but that’s it. No names. She said once she learns your identity, she’d be able to up the amount but that’s the tentative figure.”
“There’s still room for this number to go up?” Excitement leaked through the stone wall I’d erected in my mind and heart. It was the great divide between passion and practicality. Passion was chipping away at it little by little.
“Yes. She said if you want to write under a pen name, it’s fine. They’ll do what they can to keep your identity quiet if that’s what you want but I think you should live out loud. Don’t let anyone stop you from being you and from doing what makes you happy.”
Four million dollars kept popping up in my head though. How the fuck did anyone read my words and think they were worth that much money?
“I need time to process this, Xari.”
“You’re mad at me. I know but…I only dipped your toe in the proverbial water. You don’t have to bite. You don’t have to pay any of this any attention. This was mainly to show you what you’re capable of. You don’t have to drink your regrets away.”
“I don’t know how I feel right now, to be honest. I want to be excited but this is the empire I’ve built for myself and letting it go to chase a dream sounds fucking insane.”
“This isn’t your empire because you didn’t build it.” Her words were a harsh reminder of a blaring truth.
“You know what I mean, Xari.”
“I don’t.”
“Okay well, you can play clueless but let's not act like I haven’t made a name for myself in the senate. Listen, this is a lot to deal with on top of my father just leaving so…”
“So, you’re putting me out.” She scoffed and nodded her head. “Right. I’ll see you at home then.” I watched her tight movements then dropped my head when she left the office.
I already knew the rest of my schedule was shot. I wasn’t going to get anything significant done because I was going to be wrapped up in thoughts of being a published author and what life outside of the political eye would look like.
Navy poked her head in after her sister left and I waved letting her know she could come in. “Everything okay, Senator Freeman?” She sat in the same chair my father had been in moments ago.
“I’m just Evander right now, Navy,” I told her with a heavy sigh. Being Senator Freeman was too tiring.
“O…kay. I know this is probably unprofessional but is everything okay with you and Xari? She didn’t say much before she left.”
“It’s fine. No need to always be professional. At this point, I consider you a friend.”
“I just feel like something is off between you two.”
“It is. I don’t know if it’s her fault or mine though.”
“Well, if you tell me what happened I can tell you whose fault it is. Yours or hers.” She smiled a little and I chuckled.
“Okay. I’ll bite. Your sister submitted a novel I was working on to a publishing house. A big one. She got an offer quickly. The thing is, she did it without my permission. She knows how I feel about my writing.”
“You write?” Navy said, staring at me with wonder in her eyes.
“Yeah,” I laughed a little. It made me realize how much of myself I kept hidden. Maybe Xari was right in her assumption that I drank to bury the regret I harbored.
“You must be good if she did that, Senator…I mean, Evander.”
“So, let me guess, this is my fault?”
“I understand you being pissed that she did it secretly but after that wears off you have to ask yourself if she acted selfishly or in a way that could somehow hurt you or your career.”
Fuck. Why did Navy have to always be the constant voice of reason? A part of me wanted to stay pissed at Xari but my heart knew better. I couldn’t stay pissed at her for going behind my back. I could stay in my feelings for a little while but not forever. I knew what she did wasn’t malicious. She didn’t have any ulterior motives either. She did it because she believed in me.