would read over my innermost feelings and creations and judge them.
My stomach flopped.
“Evander?” Xari blinked at me, nibbling on her ruby lips.
“I heard you, Xari.” I had to stand up because there was too much energy bouncing around inside of me.
“Can you say something?” She begged. “I know at first it seems fucked up, but I believe in you and your writing. I think you could be huge.” I saw the sincerity in her eyes and something deep inside of me wanted to believe she was telling the truth.
Maybe I could have the one thing I’d always wanted.
The thought nearly choked me.
“Xari, you went behind my back and did something I wasn’t ready for. That’s not okay.”
“I know. I know and I’m sorry for going behind your back but…isn’t that what you’ve always wanted? To be a published author?” I skimmed over my hopes and dreams. I waded through my passion and realized how many finished manuscripts I had sitting on my hard drive. How many untold stories swam in the still waters of my mind never to see the light of day.
“That’s not the point,” I grumbled. My voice was rough and harsh, making her pull back. “I wasn’t ready for that. I told you writing is a hobby.”
“I know but it’s your fucking dream, Evander. Your passion. You don’t see how beautiful you look when your eyes are sharp and focused on the world you’re creating on that laptop.” She gestured to the sleeved laptop on my desk that tossed her eyes back to me. They were bubbling over with conviction and the fire I always saw when I looked at her.
My body tensed as I wondered what the agent said about my work. How could I be pissed at Xari but at the same time want to know the results of her sneaky ass plot? I was torn right down the middle. My mouth was cotton. My teeth caged my tongue.
“You keep drinking whiskey to drown the regret of not being able to live your life the way you want to. Why keep putting up with your toxic-ass father and his wants and desires when they don’t match yours? You have a chance, baby.” She walked over and sandwiched my face between her hands. “You’re remarkable. Being a senator is draining you.”
“It’s what I do. I can’t leave.”
“You can. It’s an election year. You don’t have to run again.” She shrugged her shoulders. Whenever things like that came out of her mouth, they were coated in possibility. It was dangerous.
Fear etched lines in my forehead as I frowned and shook my head. Xari tugged on my collar, making me look down at her. “Listen to me…” Like I could ever do anything else. “I know it’s scary as fuck but you know what else is scary? Looking back twenty years from now and realizing you did nothing that lit a fire inside of you. This,” she gestured around my office, “Isn’t for you. You don’t feel alive doing this. This is your father. Not you.”
She took a step back from me and dabbed her wet eyes. My Adam’s apple bobbed in my throat as I stared at her.
She was everything that terrified me. She was the soft beckoning of my passion. She was the fire that never fully extinguished inside.
“Do you want to hear what the agent said?” Xari asked after a stretch of silence. Nerves begged me to shake my head. Passion and desire pushed me to nod instead. A soft smile lifted Xari’s glossy lips. “She said to expect an acceptance letter in the mail from her office. She said she’s surprised your work hasn’t been snapped up. She said the publishing house is willing to offer you four million dollars to sign with them.”
I tipped my head to the side, making sure I heard her correctly. A laugh jumped from my mouth first before I spoke one word. I steepled my hands and finally met her penetrating stare.
“Four million?” I asked, lifting a quizzical brow. “Are you serious?”
“So serious. She emailed me so you can see I’m not bullshitting you.” She handed me her phone and I read over the email. She was right. Bright House Publishing was officially offering me four million dollars for a four-book deal starting with A Heart’s Song. I blinked at the words on the screen then honed in on the familiar name in the FROM field.