was apologizing to someone he’d hurt. Someone whose identity he’d erased in his mind to hurt them had slowly become a person to him, and eventually he’d felt regret. Nita could barely believe it. She hadn’t thought him capable of it. She’d thought it would break all his rules, break him, the way killing Henry had shattered something inside him.
But here he was. Apologizing.
She’d noticed the changes in Kovit since Henry had died, but she’d never thought they would lead him here. She wasn’t sure what she thought of it.
This apology was different than Kovit’s desperate pleas when he’d spoken to his sister. The tone, the action, everything had changed. Kovit hadn’t really regretted hurting that INHUP agent, he’d only regretted his sister found out.
Nita thought he might genuinely feel remorse about Fabricio.
“You don’t need to forgive me. That’s not why I apologized.” Kovit spoke quickly, as though he wanted to get this over with. “I just wanted you to know. I wanted to say it. And, if there’s anything I can do to make it up to you, just ask.”
Fabricio hesitated, and Nita’s eyes turned to him. This was all new territory. She had no idea how Fabricio would react, no idea how his reaction would influence Kovit. What had it taken for Kovit to make that kind of apology? What would it be like for Fabricio, who’d been brutally tortured multiple times in his life, to hear that?
The silence hung for a moment, everyone waiting to see what the others would do. Fabricio’s face was a careful mask, but she could see the decisions swirling in his eyes, conflicting emotions and thoughts battling together.
Finally, Fabricio took a step forward and put his hand on Kovit’s shoulder. “It’s okay, Kovit. I forgive you.”
Kovit’s eyes went huge. He looked so fragile in his hospital bed, so small and breakable. “Pardon?”
“I forgive you.” Fabricio’s smile was a little broken. “I know what it’s like to live in a cage. I know how things that should never be normal become normal. And even when you’re out, you fall back on old habits for comfort, just for the familiarity, even when you shouldn’t. You hurt people because that’s what you’ve always done. You lie because you can’t remember telling the truth.” Fabricio’s voice went bitter. “I know that better than anyone.” He pointedly didn’t look at Nita. “And sometimes, in that first while after you’re free, all you can do is make mistakes, do the exact things you were trying to escape from over and over, because you don’t know who you are and it scares you.”
Kovit hadn’t missed how similar Fabricio’s musings were to his own, and his voice was soft as he said, simply, “Yes.”
Fabricio stepped away. “I forgive you, Kovit.” Then he cracked a warped grin. “But don’t do it again, okay? I really didn’t enjoy it.”
Kovit laughed, a short, scratchy sound.
Nita suddenly had a terrible, dark thought, as she watched that bond of safety click into place around Fabricio, the same way it had for Nita, for Gold, for Henry, for Patchaya. The mental shift in Kovit’s mind that meant he’d never be able to hurt Fabricio again.
She wondered if Fabricio had only said those words to earn Kovit’s protection.
Fabricio was smart, and he was good at manipulation. He’d spent enough time with them that he could play Kovit like a finely tuned violin. And he had to know that Kovit wouldn’t—couldn’t—hurt people he cared about. Making a deal with Nita was just that—a deal. A deal could be broken. Nita could decide to betray him at any point.
But Kovit? Kovit would never betray Fabricio now. And he’d never let Nita betray Fabricio either.
Kovit awkwardly readjusted his blankets, trying to hide his emotions, and Fabricio turned to Nita, their eyes meeting for a moment. He gave her a small smile, not a smug smile, but a sad smile, a smile of recognition. He knew what she was thinking, he could see the question in her eyes, the angry demand, Did you manipulate him just to be safe?
But in the broken cracks of his expression and the grief in his smile, she realized that Fabricio himself didn’t truly know either. He’d lied so often and so long, had spent his whole life manipulating people, that even he didn’t know anymore whether he said things because he meant them or because they would benefit him.
In that moment, she pitied him, this sad boy who was so lost in his lies he