that’s what matters.
“Have you all decided?” he asks us, motioning to our menus sitting on the other side of the table.
I nod and point to what I want—no way am I butchering the Italian name for the pasta, and Xander orders a steak.
When the waiter leaves, I reach for my wine glass and hope Xander doesn’t notice the slight shake to my hand. I don’t know why I’m nervous. This is Xander—a guy I’ve known my whole life, and the last two weeks have been great, but this right here makes what we’re doing real. This isn’t us sneaking around the house behind our friends’ backs, or secretive glances exchanged at the office, this is us out in the open exposing ourselves as a real couple. We’re not hiding and that makes me nervous. I mean, I doubt anyone we know would see us here anyway, but it still feels slightly dangerous.
Xander toys with the napkin in his lap, and I wonder if he’s as nervous as I am.
I sip a big gulp of wine and nearly choke.
That’s enough wine for now, I think to myself and set the glass on the table.
Xander sips at his own glass, sets it down, and taps his fingers on the table.
Tap. Tap. Tap.
Just when I can’t take the awkward silence between us anymore, he blurts, “I have to tell you something.”
My heart momentarily stops with fear at what he might be about to say. Illogical thoughts run through my mind.
He’s changed his mind and wants the divorce right now and he brought me to this nice restaurant to soften the blow.
He has a secret love child.
He hates cheese.
“I got drafted for the Broncos.”
Wait? What? “Yeah,” I say hesitantly. “I already know.” His eyes widen in surprise. I think he was expecting me to scream and throw my wine at him or something. “That’s what you wanted to tell me?” I ask for clarification and he nods.
“How did you know?” he asks.
I snort. “Xander, I’m a football-obsessed freak. Did you seriously think you could get drafted to our hometown team and I wouldn’t know? Man, you don’t give me enough credit.” I take a sip of my wine.
“But,” he starts hesitantly. “You never said anything.”
I shrug. “Neither did you,” I counter. “I figured it had something to do with Cade so I kept my mouth shut.”
“So, he doesn’t know?” Xander asks.
“I mean, I guess he doesn’t. I don’t think he’s paid attention to anything football related since before the season ended. I always felt like football was more of an obligation for him than a passion.” I cross my fingers together. “So, that being said, why didn’t you think you could tell me?”
He sighs and rakes his fingers through his hair, his jaw ticking. “I don’t know. It’s stupid. For a while it didn’t seem real, and then I felt like I was letting everyone down for pursuing football as my career.”
“But it’s what you love,” I counter. “You’re letting yourself down if you don’t pursue it.”
He shakes his head, a smile playing on his lips. “Has anyone ever told you that you’re very wise?”
“No, but I’m glad you think so.” I raise my glass to my lips and take a small sip.
“So,” he says hesitantly, flicking his dark hair from his eyes with a swish of his head, “you’re not mad at me?”
“Well, I think you’re an idiot for keeping this a secret from everyone, but no, I’m not mad. We all have our secrets,” I whisper, thinking of Cade and my father. “Have you told your parents? Who all knows?”
“Well,” he says with a swoosh of his hand, “you’re the only person I’ve told, but you already knew, so now I’m wondering how many other people know.”
“You should tell your parents,” I tell him. “Stop leading your dad on. I know he’s thrilled you’re supposedly following in his footsteps, but he’ll also be thrilled for you to follow your dreams. Don’t forget that.”
He smiles at me and reaches across the table for my hand. “I’ll tell them soon,” he promises. “Will you go with me?”
“Sure,” I say. Xander’s family is practically mine.
“Mom’s been begging all of us to get together for a family dinner—you and Cade included.”
I fight a smile. “Does that mean you’re inviting Cade to this dinner to tell him too?”
Xander lets go and sits back, exhaling a heavy sigh. “I suppose. Might as well tell everyone."
Before he can say any more, our meal is brought out. My stomach rumbles