was rosemary.
As she stood holding the deadly mix in her hand, she felt the world around her crumble. Her heart slammed against her chest, she felt the baby move, and tears filled her eyes. When she spoke, her voice crackled with bitterness.
“This isn’t tea. It’s the poison that causes a woman to lose her baby, isn’t it?”
Martin folded his arms across his chest. “Don’t act like I’m some kind of monster, Eliza. I’m just trying to see you do what needs to be done.”
“You’re trying to kill our baby.”
“We don’t need another kid. I told you how I feel.”
“Killing this child is the same as killing any of the others—Oliver, Ben Roland, Dewey—”
“Don’t put that on me, Eliza. You’re the one what wanted all them babies. I didn’t. I was happy with it being just you and me. I should’ve spoke up then, but I cared about you enough to let you have your way. Now it’s time you let me have my way.”
“My way, your way, what kind of nonsense is that? We’re not arguing over who gets the last slice of pie, Martin, we’re talking about a baby. A new life God saw fit to give me.”
Martin looked at her with his jaw set hard as a rock.
“God didn’t put that baby inside of you, Eliza, I did, and since I’m the one who gave it to you, I got the right to take it away!”
“Over my dead body,” she said and turned her back to him.
For several minutes there was a stark silence with nothing more than bits of anger bristling through the air. Then Martin came and touched her shoulder.
“Try to see it my way,” he pleaded. “We’ve already got six kids, and every time I turn around one of them needs new shoes or something. I’m already working my ass off so you’ll have money enough to raise them. If you keep having babies year after year, how am I supposed to afford it?”
“We’ll find a way. I can make do with less. The boys are big enough to help with—”
“That’s not the answer. If you want me coming home on weekends, then I gotta give up working overtime and the only way I can afford to do that is if you stop having babies.”
“Going forward we’ll be more careful. We can plan—”
“That’s not good enough. We’ve already got six. I don’t want any more. If you love me, Eliza, you’ll listen to what I’m saying and get rid of this baby.”
Hearing the finality in his words, she picked up the paper bag, refolded the top, and held it out to him.
“Take this back. I won’t need it. I love you, Martin, but not more than I love this baby. If I can find room in my heart to love both you and our children, I don’t understand why you can’t.”
He took the bag from her and put it back on the top shelf.
“That’s staying here, ’cause I’m giving you time to reconsider. After you think about it for a while, I believe you’ll come to see I’m right.”
She didn’t answer or turn to face him.
“Look away if you want, Eliza, but the truth is you and the kids need me. You know damn well you do. This might be your mama’s house, but that ain’t gonna feed the kids or put shoes on their feet.”
He took his jacket from the hook and pulled it on.
“I’m leaving now ’cause we got nothing more to say to each other, but when I come back I’m gonna be expecting you to tell me this baby is gone.”
Eliza heard the door open then close, and she knew he was gone.
——————
THE NEXT MORNING ELIZA WOKE with her head aching and her heart heavy. She had a sickening premonition that this time Martin would not be back. They’d said some unforgivable things to one another, and he’d left before the sky was fully dark.
Shortly after Oliver and Ben Roland left for school, Eliza heard a knock. Before she could get up from the chair to answer, the door slid open and Caldonia Markey poked her head inside.
“You okay?” she asked.
“Martin’s not here, so come on in.”
“This morning I made sweet biscuits. With you feeling so poorly, I figured these might…” As she drew closer and saw Eliza’s face, she stopped. “Lord God, honey, what’s wrong?”
“It’s nothing. I just had a bad night; didn’t get much sleep.”
“It’s more than that. Your face is swollen, and your eyes look like the devil