pushing me away in your need to not feel. I know your heart is breaking…because he’s your father, you loved him, and now he is forever lost to you.”
His throat worked on a swallow, the veil cracked, grief and such pain brewed in his eyes that it was awful to witness. His lashes lowered when he glanced back up, all emotions contained. Without speaking, he dismissed her by turning his back to her, facing the cliffs and the raging seas below. She went up to him and hugged him tightly from behind, her face pressing close to his back. He stiffened, and then a deep shudder worked through him until his entire body trembled. She held him tightly, comforting him silently. He gripped both of her wrists, which she anchored around his waist, and she braced for him to push her away. Instead, he held on to her hands as if they were lifelines.
Her throat burned with unshed tears, and her heart ached relentlessly for him. She had only been a part of their family for a little over five months, but Phoebe had been charmed by the old earl’s eccentric view on life. She had liked him a lot. It was unfathomable to think what his children might be feeling at his departure.
They stayed like that for a long time. Phoebe couldn’t tell how long had passed, but even as the wind sliced at her back and she quaked from the chill, she did not let him go. The soles of her feet ached from standing for surely what was over an hour on the rocky incline of the cliffside, but she did not move. They just stood there, waiting as the surf crashed against the coast in frothy, violent waves and the air grew even more chilled. At times Hugh shuddered, and at times he was so still, he was an effigy of a marble statue.
Phoebe only knew she must never let him go, so she did not.
After another several moments, he lifted her wrists from around his waist and kissed each of her clenched fists. Then he pushed them to his side. She released him but did not step back. He turned around, and his beautiful eyes were carefully contained.
“Thank you,” he signed, his lips quirking in a small smile that did not reach his eyes. “I am obliged to you for your company. You may leave now.”
“No.”
“Phoebe, you will leave—”
“No.”
They stared at each other for long moments. He cupped her cheeks, dipped slightly, and kissed her with violent tenderness. This Phoebe had not expected, and in his embrace, she felt the force of his grief, the pain, and the desperation of his loss. She tasted something dark and dangerous, something sweet and hot, something never felt before in all the kisses they had exchanged.
With a gasp, her lips parted, allowing him inside, and he plundered, ravishing her lips over and over. Odd and terrifying sensations crashed against her senses when his mouth slanted over hers with greed and something fierce that she was unable to identify. When he released Phoebe, her lips felt bruised, her heart felt alive, and her body…she trembled to be closer to him.
He gently pushed her away from him, but she took a step forward, and he moved back, shaking his head slowly, the indifferent veil cracking and raw and powerful hunger leaping in his eyes. His finger jerked as he said, “No, not like this.”
“What is not like this?” she asked softly, though she knew. Dear God, she knew for something hot and a bit scary trembled low in her belly. The air was chilled, but her palms were dampened with sweat.
“This first time we make love…will not be when I am feeling so much.”
Awareness blossomed through her and her lips parted in wonder. Control was very important to her husband. All those nights he had kissed her, and when their passion had burned around them, he would always pull away, the hands braced above her head trembling. A few deep breaths later, his kisses would change, and then he would hold her in his arms, and they slept.
She had been wondering how to seduce him when every night after kissing her endlessly he would disappear to the lake. She would sit at the window and watch him swim, admiring his body but lacking the courage to follow him. The one night she had drummed up the nerve and went down there had once again turned into them laughing and romping