Lord Marbury being her father, the situation still made her quake when she was nervous enough already about meeting the marquess.
As Carlin escorted her down the front steps and handed her into the waiting carriage, she could not even enjoy the rare treat of riding in a fine vehicle with crimson brocaded upholstery, squabs as soft as clouds, and gold-tasseled blinds drawn back from sparkling windows. She gripped her gloved fingers in her lap and drew several deep breaths in an effort to calm her thrumming heartbeat. But it was no use. She still felt anxious and uneasy, her future in a turmoil.
And the duke wasn’t helping matters.
He had taken the seat opposite hers when she would have liked to have him beside her, holding her hand to lend her courage. That was an impossible wish, of course. Their romantic liaison could not continue. Though a short drive through Mayfair was hardly the time to discuss it, she suspected that Carlin shared that view, judging by his detached manner today.
This morning, he was once again the granite-faced duke. Elegant in a slate-blue coat and fawn breeches, a snowy white cravat at his throat, he sat frowning out the window at the passing houses. One would never guess that his fine clothing concealed a tender lover who had whispered such marvelous things to her, who had taken her to heights of glory.
The previous evening, they had parted ways after a lingering kiss. She had been in such an agitated state over identifying her sire that it hadn’t occurred to her until later, lying in bed and remembering that wonderful joining, that he had never said a word about prolonging their affair.
And why should he? Carlin had striven to avoid the entanglement from the start. She was one who had pursued him. She was the one who had abandoned all restraint. Even now, Tessa felt a desperate longing to hurl herself across the carriage and into his arms. Only the impossibility of the circumstances kept her anchored in place.
She had entered into the assignation with her eyes wide open, knowing that he could never wed a baseborn commoner who had been raised in a workhouse. A woman who was not even qualified to be governess to his daughter. As for all their whimsical banter about Cinderella, well, that had been merely a product of wine, firelight, desire … and Guy.
Never again must she address him so familiarly. In the throes of lovemaking they had been equals, two people drawn together to fulfill a mutual passion. But in the cold light of day she knew it was best to accept reality.
You are a duke, and I am a governess. And it is no use pretending otherwise.
Her soft sigh was lost to the rattle of the carriage wheels. Tessa rallied herself with the reminder that she would soon regain her spirits. Once she persuaded Lord Marbury to give her the funding, she finally would have the means to set up her shop and fulfill her dream of becoming the premier milliner in London. There was no reason at all to feel low.
It was just that things had happened so fast. She hadn’t had time to absorb all the changes in her life. And now she was hurtling headlong into another change without having fully settled the last one.
For that reason, it would be best to reestablish her former footing with the duke. “I owe you an apology, Carlin.”
His gaze swung to hers. “Why?”
“I’m keeping you from searching for the stolen diaries. Truly, I could have visited my father on my own.”
“I’ve hired a Runner to assist me in the investigation, so there’s no time lost. As for this meeting…” He shook his head. “I would never leave you to face Marbury alone.”
The keenness of his stare, the firmness of his tone, caused a treacherous warming in her bosom. “Surely you can’t think I’ll need protection from him.”
“My presence will ensure that you’re allowed through the front door. Marbury is a crotchety old fellow who doesn’t care much for visitors. Luckily, in response to my note, he has agreed to receive me.” Carlin smiled slightly. “Of course, I mentioned nothing about bringing his long-lost daughter.”
She summoned a small smile of her own. “Thank you for not warning him. If he were prepared, it would have been too easy for him to hide the truth.” Tessa paused. “If I may add, I would greatly appreciate you allowing me to do the talking. This is my concern,