When the Bough Breaks (Rose Gardner Investigations #6) - Denise Grover Swank Page 0,65
didn’t either.
“But on the other hand,” I said, “it’s probably a bad idea.” I still intended to go, but this would give her a way out.
“Oh, no you don’t,” she said. “Don’t you try to pull that on me. If you’re bringin’ it up, then you’re plannin’ on goin’ over there—but not without me, you’re not. I’m on my way to the nursery. Pick me up on your way there.” Then she hung up.
That answered that.
Twenty minutes later, I pulled into the nursery parking lot, and Neely Kate walked out of the building and hopped into the passenger seat.
She gave me a frown. “I told Maeve about Muffy and she’s pretty upset.”
I felt terrible. I should have called and told her. She probably loved Muffy just as much as I did. “Is she mad at me for not lettin’ her know?”
“Of course not. She’s just worried.” She turned to look at me. “Did Joe tell you anything more about his investigation?”
“No…” My voice broke. “He’s pullin’ away from me, Neely Kate.”
She gasped. “What on earth makes you say that? He drove over to my house in the middle of the night so he could sleep by your side. That doesn’t sound like pullin’ away to me.”
“Sure, he held me, because I’m the mother of his baby, but he wasn’t there, you know? We’ve been so close for months now. He’s living with me and I love havin’ him there. I miss him when he works at night. But after I told him I went to see James, he pulled back.”
“He’s scared, Rose,” she said quietly. “He’s lost two babies, and you’re weeks away from givin’ him one, and then you suddenly go see James. He’s probably scared you’re goin’ to snatch it all away from him.”
I sucked in a breath. “I did it to find the kids, Neely Kate. If I wanted to see James, then I would have gone to see him months ago.”
“Maybe Joe thinks you just needed an excuse to justify it.”
I tried to swallow my hurt feelings, but I was sure I wasn’t doing a good job. “Joe thinks that or you do?”
She was silent for several seconds before she turned to face me. “Tell me you don’t still love James Malcolm.”
Oh, how I wished I could. “I don’t know if I do or not. I’m so confused.”
“How did you feel when you saw him?”
I shrugged. “There was no burning desire to rekindle anything, if that’s what you’re askin’.”
“But there’s still something there?”
“I don’t know what I feel.”
She turned to face me even more directly while I concentrated on the road. “If he showed up at your front door tonight,” she said softly, without a speck of judgment in her voice, “tellin’ you he’d made a mistake and he wants a life with you and that baby—he’s got a big ring, and he wants a wedding and a happily ever after…you have to make a decision on the spot—yes or no. What do you choose?”
I raked my teeth over my bottom lip.
“No thinkin’ about it. Yes or no.”
“No.”
She pushed out a slow breath. “Why’d you say no?”
“Because even before this mess, a life with him would have been dangerous. All the same, some stupid part of me thought love could make it work.” I shook my head in disgust, tightening my grip on the steering wheel. “I was so na?ve.”
“You were in love,” she said tenderly. “We have rose-colored glasses on when we’re in love. And you saw a different man than the rest of us do.” She leaned forward a bit. “I think you made him want to be a better person. You have that effect on people, you know.”
“No,” I said, feeling an all-too-familiar hopelessness rise up. “I just see the good in people and try to help them see it too. No more, no less. I showed him the good parts of himself and encouraged him to become that man. But in the end, he chose evil, and I don’t think I can forgive him for that.”
“You said he told you that everything he was doin’ was for you.”
“I didn’t ask him to do any of that, and he had to know I’d never approve of him endangerin’ himself and other people. And now I found out he’s even more entrenched in the criminal world than he was before I ended things with him. Dermot told me that he’s involved with South American drug cartels.” I shook my head again. “I would never,