way, but she just lay still, her chest rising and falling.
“Joe’s here,” I said as a tear rolled down my cheek. “He wants to see you too.”
I stepped back to let Joe get closer. He squatted down next to her and whispered something I couldn’t make out. He stayed with her for a few more seconds, softly stroking her leg, before moving to the side and making room for me too.
We stood there like that for a while, side by side, both of us telling her what a good girl she was and how much we wanted her to come home. After a couple of minutes, I could see she was tired and struggling to keep her eyes open, so I told her how much I loved her and that I’d be back later.
“You can come back,” Levi said carefully, “but maybe later this afternoon. I’m not sure if you noticed, but she was fighting off sleep to keep watch on you.” He gave me a sad smile. “She still thinks she needs to protect you.”
A fresh round of tears filled my eyes. “So she can’t rest if I’m here.”
“It’s only a guess,” he admitted sheepishly. “But I suspect she’ll fall into a deep sleep as soon as you leave.”
“And she needs her sleep to recover,” I said.
He nodded.
Pushing out a breath, I said, “I’ll do whatever I need to do to help her.”
Joe and I left, still in silence but for a different reason this time.
“She almost died,” he said once we were in the car.
“I know,” I whispered.
He gripped the steering wheel but didn’t turn on the engine. “I’m scared, Rose.”
His admission caught me by surprise. “What are you scared of?”
“That I won’t be a good father. That I’ll screw this up like my own father did. I couldn’t protect Muffy…what makes me think I can protect a helpless baby?”
“Hey,” I said, turning to face him. I almost took his hand but stopped myself, Neely Kate’s words still fresh on my mind. “I’m scared too. In fact, if anyone’s to blame for Muffy’s accident, it’s me. I let her out to pee. I didn’t put her on a leash.”
“We never put her on a leash on the farm,” he protested.
“Then I should have trained her to obey better,” I said. “I called her multiple times to come back and she didn’t. This is my fault, not yours.”
“We’re both wrong,” he said, a look of resolve washing over his face as he turned on the car. “The only person at fault was whoever was driving that station wagon, and I’m gonna find ’em.”
Chapter 16
Neither of us spoke during the drive back to the farm, but it wasn’t our usual comfortable silence of two people who knew each other well. It was filled with a strained tension that put me on edge.
When he dropped me off so I could get my truck, he told me that he’d be sure to check his phone in case I needed him before he came home.
I got out, then leaned into the open door. “Joe,” I said insistently, “you’re gonna be a great daddy. An amazing daddy. Please don’t doubt that.”
He gave me a tight smile. “Thanks. Now get to work safe. I don’t want to worry about you out here.”
The only reason he’d agreed to leave me alone was because I had a landscaping appointment coming up. I needed my truck.
I shut the door and he drove away, leaving me with the overwhelming sense of loss. Muffy’s accident was hitting me hard, so I walked around the back of the house, left my bag on the back steps, and made my way to the barn. The horses nuzzled my hands for apples—which I didn’t have—and seemed to look past me, looking for Muffy.
As I rubbed their faces and necks, I pondered what James had told me about Denny Carmichael. If he’d truly played some role in either Mark’s murder or the kids’ disappearance, Lady would have more luck getting information than Joe would. Still, while I could see the sense in not actively pursuing this myself, it didn’t mean I couldn’t get the advice of a friend.
I fished my cell phone out of my pocket and pulled up Dermot’s number.
“Long time no talk,” he said when he answered. “Not that I’m complainin’.”
“I’ve missed you too,” I teased.
“I take it you’ve got something on your mind.”
“Feelin’ up to a chat?” I asked.
He was silent for several seconds, then said, “You still makin’ coffee even