When the Bough Breaks (Rose Gardner Investigations #6) - Denise Grover Swank Page 0,58

James with that last one.”

“I think you’re still hung up on him.” When I started to respond, she held up a hand. “I’m not judgin’ you. What you had with him was epic, but I think you need to ask yourself if it’s real.”

“Was real,” I said. “Past tense.”

“Okay,” she conceded, even though she didn’t look totally convinced. “Was real.”

“The last time we were together, I told him that very thing. That we were just pretendin’ to have a relationship. He tried to tell me I was wrong, but I know better. We were sneakin’ around the whole time, actin’ like we were doin’ something wrong.”

“It’s more complicated than that, and you know it.”

“Maybe so,” I said, my back stiffening. “But I’m havin’ a baby, Neely Kate. That changes everything. The thing is, James was very clear about what he wanted—and didn’t want—from the beginning. I can’t fault him for that,” I said. “I got caught up in… us. But other than our trip to Shreveport, our entire relationship was confined to his house.”

“Jed and I weren’t public at first,” she said, “and what we have is real.”

“But even then you talked about the future,” I said, grabbing her arm. “You actually made plans. James and I never planned ahead further than the next time we were going to be together.” When she still didn’t look convinced, my anger flared. “You never approved of my relationship with James. Why are you pushin’ me on this now?”

“Because I think you need to ask yourself who you’re tryin’ to convince,” she said, tears filling her eyes, “me or you.”

“Neely Kate.”

“I love you,” she said emphatically. “You’re the sister of my heart, and I will stand by you no matter what you do, but I love Joe too. He’s taken his brother role seriously and then some. I’m worried he’s gonna get hurt in all of this. The kind of hurt that doesn’t go away.”

She was voicing my own fears.

She must have sensed that I was close to the breaking point, because she leaned forward and hugged me tight. “Maybe now’s not the time to sort everything out. Joe’s not goin’ anywhere, and it sounds like James isn’t swoopin’ in to lay claim to you or the baby. You’ve got time to figure it out.”

“Yeah,” I said, realizing she had a point. I didn’t need to have all the answers yet. But I couldn’t help but feel angry with myself that it wasn’t more clear-cut. James may not have kicked me out of his house, but he hadn’t exactly tried to smooth things over. He didn’t want me or the baby, and even if he did, would I still want him?

The answer should have been an adamant no, but instead it was a big question mark.

“I’ve got time,” I said, maybe more for myself than for her.

So why did it feel like I didn’t?

“Can I get you anything?” she asked. “Water? A snack? A crystal ball?”

I released a tiny laugh. “No.”

She stood and started to walk out, then stopped in the doorway. “Everything’s gonna be okay.”

“There’s an awful lot of bad stuff goin’ on for you to make a proclamation like that.”

“I know,” she said with a soft smile. “But one way or the other, it’s still gonna be okay.”

It was the one way or the other part that had me worried.

Joe walked in as she was leaving, my overnight bag slung over his shoulder. He gave me a hesitant look in the doorway. “I grabbed a few things for you, but I’m not sure I grabbed the right things.”

I started to scoot off the bed. “Thank you. I’m sure it will be fine.”

“What do you need?” he asked, still standing in the doorway. “I’ll get it for you.”

“Unless you’ve figured out how to pee for me, I think I need to do this myself.”

He grinned, but it was still guarded. “You’re on your own with that one.”

“That’s what I figured.” I headed to the bathroom, then washed up and went back to the guest room.

Joe had kicked off his shoes and was sitting at the end of the bed with a stack of linens on his lap. When I gave him a questioning look, he said, “I didn’t want to bother Neely Kate or Jed, so I grabbed a blanket and a pillow to sleep on the sofa. I was waiting for you to come back so I could say goodnight.”

“Will you sleep with me tonight?” I asked, hating myself for being