When the Bough Breaks (Rose Gardner Investigations #6) - Denise Grover Swank Page 0,57
Rose.”
I’d spent months alone. Months of suffering with anxiety over James’s reaction to my pregnancy, over his refusal to sign the papers. Months of lonely solitude.
I didn’t regret the time alone. It had given me a chance to figure out the mess of thoughts in my head, but I’d realized that I didn’t need to do everything alone. It was okay to ask for help from the people in my life. Wanting comfort from Joe didn’t make me weak. It made me human. The real question was whether it was fair to him. Right or wrong, I was too selfish to care at the moment.
“I want you to come over,” I whispered.
His voice softened. “I’ll be right there.”
I hung up and handed the phone back to Neely Kate, then wrestled myself into a sitting position, propping two pillows behind me. “Muffy has a broken leg and pelvis and internal injuries. Levi’s not sure if she’s gonna make it, and he’s staying at the clinic to watch her.”
Tears filled her eyes. “Oh, no.”
“She’s a tough little dog,” I said resolutely. “If anyone can pull through this, she can.”
She nodded. “Definitely.” She gave me a long look. “Joe’s comin’ over?”
“Yeah. I hope that’s okay.”
“Of course it’s okay.” Then she said carefully, “The question is, do you want me to make up a bed on the sofa for him?”
“No. I’d like him to sleep with me, if he’s willin’.” I quickly added, “But we’re not havin’ sex.”
She chuckled. “I didn’t think you would be.”
“The labor and delivery nurse suggested it the other day. She told Joe it might kick-start labor.” I gave her a wry grin. “So apparently it’s possible.”
She grinned. “Huh.”
“Even so,” I said, “we’re not havin’ sex. We haven’t even kissed.”
She was silent for a moment. “But you’ve been tempted.” When my eyes widened, she said, “We’ve spent a lot of time with you two… Rose, Joe’s in love with you.”
“I know.” It was true. Even if I’d refused to acknowledge it until just a few days ago.
“The question is whether you’re in love with him. I know you love him, but are you in love? Because you have to be sure before you act on it.”
Glancing down at the bed, I said, “I have feelings for Joe, but I can’t sort out what it means. Or whether it’s just because I want a family. He deserves better than someone who doesn’t know her own mind.” I lifted my gaze. “I saw James tonight. Or I guess last night.”
Her eyes bugged out. “What?”
“I’m sick of playing games. I wanted to ask him about Mike and the papers stolen from the lawyer’s office. It was time.”
“Where did you meet him?” she asked in disbelief. “How?”
“I went to his house. I waited for him to show up.”
Confusion filled her eyes—she knew as well as I did that he didn’t stay in his house every night. Then she sighed. “Thursday.” She obviously remembered our schedule. “Did he threaten you?”
“No,” I said, getting pissed again, “but he didn’t tell me much either. He did confirm that Mike works for Hardshaw, and he suggested Denny Carmichael has a role in this mess.”
“Denny Carmichael?” she asked in disbelief.
“I know. He may have said that just to throw me off, but I’m sure James knows something about the kidnapping.”
“And he didn’t tell you anything solid to help you find them.” It wasn’t a question.
My heart felt heavy. “No.”
“Did he say anything about the baby?”
“No, not really. And he refused to address the paternity papers.”
“Are you gonna tell Joe?”
“I already did.”
Her eyes flew wide. The fact that she’d expected me to keep it a secret only underlined how badly I’d handled everything up until now.
“No more secrets. He needed to know. I told him about the papers too.”
“How did he handle it?”
“He said he’s the baby’s father and worryin’ about our baby is part of his job. He said I was cheatin’ him out of fatherhood.”
She gave me a sad smile. “He’s turned into a really great guy.”
“Then why do you look so distraught?”
“Because I’m worried you’re gonna hurt him.”
It wasn’t a good sign that I was worried about that too. “I’m not goin’ back to James, Neely Kate. He doesn’t want me anyway. But Joe deserves someone who loves him with everything she’s worth. I’m not sure I’m there yet.”
“There’s all sorts of loves, Rose,” she said quietly, stroking my hair. “There’s hot and fiery. There’s calm and steady. And then there’s dysfunctional.”