When the Bough Breaks (Rose Gardner Investigations #6) - Denise Grover Swank Page 0,50
He’d probably called or texted one of them.
“I didn’t lie to you, Joe,” I pleaded.
He placed a gentle kiss on my forehead. “I know.”
Wrapping my arms around his neck, I pressed myself against him as close as I could get. “Will you hold me?”
His arms were around me in an instant, giving me comfort and strength. I felt like I’d cheated on him, which was crazy. We weren’t together, yet we were. He was living with me now, giving me financial support for the baby. We ate together, spent time together. He’d taken me to the hospital for two false labors, and he’d never once acted frustrated or angry.
While I suspected James still loved me, he had no idea how to love me, let alone a child. Joe was different…he’d changed since the end of our relationship. It was like our paths had diverged as we grew in different directions, but they were coming back together. Joe, I knew, would never accuse me of trying to trap him in anything.
“I’m sorry about Ashley and Mikey,” Joe said. “We haven’t really made much progress.”
“I know you’re doin’ your best, Joe. I never once doubted it.”
“Let’s get you inside,” he said, wrapping an arm around my back and leading me into the house.
“Joe, there’s something I need to tell you.”
His body stiffened slightly. Then he said, “Should I be worried?”
“Let’s sit down on the sofa and I’ll explain.”
He hesitated. “Okay.”
We sat on the sofa together, but instead of taking our usual positions, we sat next to each other. My shoulders were stiff as I prepared for his reaction, and his posture—back stiff and his hands on his knees—told me he was preparing himself for the bombshell I was about to drop on him.
“I saw James Malcolm tonight.”
His face paled. “Was that your doin’ or his?”
“Mine. I knew James had some kind of control over Mike, so I figured he might know something. I asked him to tell me what Mike was involved in.”
“Were you in danger?”
“No. He wasn’t excited to see me, but he wasn’t hostile.” That seemed like a partial lie. While James hadn’t been excited, he’d been more cordial than I’d expected.
He drew in a breath. “Did he tell you anything?”
“Not really. Only that I should check with Denny Carmichael.”
“Denny Carmichael?” Joe said in confusion. “What does he have to do with Hardshaw?”
“I don’t know,” I said. “Carmichael was willing to take a stand against them last fall, so I doubt he’s involved with them, but your guess is as good as mine.” I paused, then added, “There’s something else I need to tell you.”
He hesitated and worry filled his eyes. “Okay…”
“James said he’d tell me more if I gave him information about Mark Erickson.”
“The dead electrician?” He looked lost in thought. “So Malcolm is involved somehow?”
“Not necessarily,” I said a little too quickly. “Sometimes he just likes to gather information. I have no idea why he’s interested other than pure curiosity.”
“Malcolm doesn’t seem like the gossipin’ type.”
“There are all sorts of gossipin’,” I said. “At times, I’ve found the criminals of this county to be worse than fishmongers’ wives.”
Surprise filled his eyes before he glanced down at my stomach. “So what do you plan to do?”
“I’m not tellin’ him anything, Joe. That’s why I told you. So there aren’t any secrets. So you know you can trust me.”
His face softened, but he still held back. “I’ve known I can trust you for months. But thanks for tellin’ me.”
Tears filled my eyes. “I don’t want there to be any secrets, Joe. I don’t want you to think you can’t trust me. I don’t want you to leave me and the baby because of this.”
He took both of my hands. “I’m not goin’ anywhere, Rose. I’m here.”
I’m here. He wasn’t just here for the baby. He was here for me too.
I’d realized something over the last few months of soul-searching on the farm, helped along by several counseling sessions with Jonah Pruitt, my friend and minister: I had a fear of abandonment. My father had abandoned me to my mother’s anger. Joe and Mason had both abandoned me when they’d broken up with me. Violet had abandoned me in death, and James…his abandonment had been ugly. But I was finally climbing out of the pit of my despair, excited to meet my baby despite the fear of James’s retaliation, and only a few days before, I’d made a breakthrough with Jonah about another fear I hadn’t yet verbalized.