naval-gazing artist wallowing in his perfectionist vision of the perfect sound and musician who gets to eat and keep a roof over his head.”
“It feels a bit like selling out.”
“Is it though? If you spend two, three years dicking around, then what? No one hears your greatness. Kids move on. Find other bands to listen to and forget about you. The real fans will be back but how many do you lose? How much patience does the label have? I want to help you produce the absolute best album Kickstart is capable of producing, right now. Not a perfect, musical masterpiece five years from now.”
I can’t decide if we’re lucky to be working with Mark or he’s a lunatic who’s way overstepping his job description. “I do enjoy eating and sleeping indoors.”
“Good. I’m not saying you have to be one or the other. I want to help you figure out where you want to be and help guide you there.”
“Thanks.” I cock my head and study him for a second. “You having this same conversation with all of us?”
One corner of his mouth twitches. “That’s confidential.”
“I should warn you, then. Jacob’s all about the naval-gazing artistry.”
“I’ve noticed. You guys all balance each other out well.”
What a diplomatic answer. Kind of makes me like him even more. “We try.”
“How often do you practice, Chaser?”
“Every day.”
“Are you focused or playing whatever comes to you?”
“A little of both. I try to spend the first few hours on technique.” I wiggle my fingers at him. “Get them where I want to go. Then I’ll work on a current song we’re writing. I’ll wind down with something experimental and play around a little.” When I’m in L.A., I’m usually getting to that last part about the time Mallory comes home from work. Damn, I miss her. I’ve been all out of sorts since we got here.
“That’s a solid approach. I like that. Do you practice with other people?”
“Yeah, when we lived together, we’d always jam during the day. Now we’re a little more spread out but we still get together every couple days and play for a few hours.”
“How about outside the band?”
“When I can, yeah. I’ve played with Vinnie and Andrew quite a bit.”
“It’s good to expand your circle. Learn new things and ways to create. As long as you’re not always the one contributing to the creative flow. You need to get back some of what you put in.”
I definitely understand what he means. The first band Alvin and I started had tons of negative energy. We couldn’t put a label on it at the time. All I knew was that playing with them drained the life energy straight out of me after every session.
“I’ve been there.”
“Avoid those people like the plague.” He leans forward and slaps my leg. “What inspires you? Nature? Cars? Sunrises? Your girlfriend?”
My lips quirk. “All of the above. But I’m definitely more inspired since I’ve been with my fiancée.”
“It’s one thing to write about what you think love is,” He holds up his right hand, palm up, “And another to write about what it truly is once you’ve experienced it, isn’t it?” He holds his left palm up higher than the right.
“Fuck.” I sit back and nod. “Yeah. That’s exactly it.”
“Heartbreak’s an even better motivator.”
“I’d rather not go there.”
“What’s your best moment in music been, Chaser? One thing that defined for you why you’re doing this?”
I sit back and consider his question carefully. Getting our first advance—people actually paying us for the music we created was pretty fucking awesome. Meeting Mallory? That’s the best damn thing that’s ever happened in my life, period. We were destined to be together one way or another, so I don’t think that counts. And I wouldn’t consider ‘Candy Jar’ a musical high point in my career—even if the label says otherwise. Winning the “Guitar God” award was cool but also sort of embarrassing. I’m twenty-two, hardly a god.
Suddenly, I know exactly which moment stands out the most. “I met these two fans while we were in England.” I give him the story behind the song ‘Cry it Out’ and how the girls explained what the song meant to them. “It was a low point on that tour.” Real low point. Mallory had to leave the tour and go home by herself. There was a good chance I was going to kill Davey Revolver if he kept fucking with the band. “But something about their story made all the other shit worth it,