I wobble my way into the bedroom on my own and perch on the edge of the bed to spoon down some of the yogurt before accepting the pain pills. “Thank you.”
He tucks me in and as soon as my head hits the pillow, I’m drifting away.
Sometime later, the bed dips and shifts behind me.
“Chaser?”
“Right here.” He gently curls himself around my body and kisses my shoulder.
“Thank you.”
“You never have to thank me.” He nuzzles against my neck. “I’m so sorry, I wasn’t here, Mallory.”
I turn so we’re facing each other and rest my forehead against his chin. “I’m happy you’re here now.”
The day’s events or maybe the pain pills must be making me slow. I tip my head back. “Oh my God, you’re missing shows, aren’t you? I didn’t—”
“Shhh.” He places one finger over my lips. “Today was an off day. It doesn’t matter, anyway. Nick will fill in for me tomorrow night.”
I scowl and pull back. “He’s not half the guitar player you are.”
He chuckles and leans in again, pressing his lips to my forehead. “Nothing in the world is more important than being with my girl, right now.”
Pain wakes me the next morning.
I lurch my way into the bathroom, take care of myself and open the door to find Chaser waiting for me. “This is a little creepy, Chaser.”
“What? That I’m worried about you?”
“I’m too big to fall in the toilet and drown,” I mutter as I shuffle back to bed.
Behind me, he chuckles and follows. “Do you need anything?”
“Sleep. More pain meds.”
I must drift off because a few minutes later, he’s nudging something cool into my hand and asking me to sit up. My stomach lurches at the yogurt. “Ugh, I can’t eat any more of that.”
“I don’t know what else to give you. You can’t take those pills on an empty stomach.”
My head’s pounding. I sip some water and eat as much of the yogurt as I can tolerate, then swallow the pills.
Chaser crawls back into bed with me.
I peer over at him. Usually, he’s up and practicing guitar by now. “What are you doing?”
“It’s still early. I’m going back to sleep.” He holds out his arms. “Come here.”
I scoot over, snuggling up against his warm body. “Sorry, I’m so cranky,” I whisper.
“You can be as cranky as you need to be.” He runs his hand over my hair. “Don’t ever apologize to me.”
Tears sting my eyes and my nose twitches. “I’m sorry.”
“Shhh. Why?”
“I screwed up. I wasn’t supposed to get pregnant. How could I not even know? I feel awful. I shouldn’t be so upset but I’m so…sad.”
“You’re allowed to feel however you need to feel.” He squeezes me tighter.
I run my hand over my side. “The one thing my body’s designed to do, I can’t even do right. I’m so…embarrassed that I screwed it up.”
His eyes narrow and he cups my head pulling me closer until our foreheads touch. “You didn’t screw up anything. That’s not your only purpose in life.”
“But I want to have a baby someday. I want to be a mother. What if I can’t?”
It doesn’t seem to matter to Chaser that my rambling complaints all contradict each other. He has a gentle, patient answer for everything.
“We’re going to be fine. The doctor said most women go on to have totally normal pregnancies.”
“Really?” I peer up at him. “You asked the doctor about that?”
“Yes.”
“Oh.” I don’t understand why I can’t let this go. “What if I hadn’t…what if today hadn’t happened?”
“What do you mean?”
“What would we have done? I’m on set for twelve, fifteen hours a day some days. You’re away on tour. I don’t want other people raising our children, Chaser. I had that and I hated it.”
He blows out a long breath, ruffling my hair. “I don’t know.”
“Would you have been angry with me?”
“Fuck no,” he growls. “Mistakes happen. You need two people to make a baby, so how could I be mad at you?”
I shrug, thinking over something his father once said to me. “I wouldn’t want you to think I tried to trap you.”
“Trap me? We’re engaged.” He laughs so hard, the bed shakes. “Mallory, you’re so embedded in my soul, you’ll never shake me loose. My heart’s been in your hands since the day we met.”
The intensity and passion behind his words melts my remaining fears.
“I want to marry you. Spend the rest of my life with you.” He sighs and reaches down, twining our fingers together. “You’re right, though. A baby right