now would be tough. I hate leaving you so much. I can’t imagine leaving you and our child to go off on tour.” He wiggles his eyebrows. “I’ll need to start selling a hell of a lot more albums so I can afford an extra tour bus for my family.”
My lips twitch into a smile and I rest my forehead on his chest. “You’d do that? It’s not very rock-n-roll.”
“Rock-n-roll is whatever the fuck I say it is.”
“Now, that’s a very rock-n-roll answer.”
“Anything else bothering you?”
“Everything’s bothering me.”
“Anything you want to talk to me about?” He shifts, reaching over me to pick up the discharge papers off my nightstand. “Anything you need me to run out and grab?”
“Give me that.” I snatch the papers away, folding them up and tossing them behind me. “No. They sent me home with…stuff.”
Instead of answering he frowns at his hand, twisting and wiggling his fingers. “So, many, paper cuts. What’s the big deal?”
“This whole experience has been humiliating enough. I’ve never been asked so many personal questions and felt so invaded.”
“I hate to break this to you, Mallory.” He tickles his fingers over my arm. “But from what I’ve heard, if you really want to have a baby, the stork doesn’t deliver them. You’re going to have lots of people up in your business. It’s not the neat and clean process shown on television. It’s messy.”
“How do you have so much knowledge about the subject?”
He shrugs. “I paid attention in biology class.”
“I bet you did.” I poke his side. “I didn’t learn about that until seventh grade. And even then, it was a bizarre, secret that we were never supposed to talk about.”
“Your mother—” He stops himself and shakes his head. “I’m sorry.”
Just the mention of my mother brings me right back to that scared thirteen-year-old girl, desperately wishing someone would explain what was happening to my body. “My father wasn’t as evolved as you seem to be.”
He smirks. “No kidding.”
“And my aunt told me it was a shameful secret I should never, ever discuss with anyone.”
“That’s really fucked up. You shouldn’t be embarrassed about something that’s just…nature.”
“I guess.”
“Didn’t your father take you to the doctor?”
“Yeah, but my regular, eighty-year-old pediatrician. He gave me a book once about my changing body but it was all about how to cover up weird body smells and stuff. Nothing helpful. I didn’t see a…you know, girl doctor, until I came out here.”
“I hope you understand I’m not like that. If we have girls, I don’t ever want them to be ashamed of anything.” He pauses and seems to consider a few scenarios. “Although, you should definitely still have that talk with them.”
“You’d want daughters?”
“Hell, yeah, I’d love a couple little girls who look just like you.”
“A couple? No sons?”
He shrugs. “I don’t think we can really pick and choose. One of each sounds nice, though.”
“I like the sound of that.”
Chaser
Our talk seemed to wear Mallory out. I hate leaving her side but I can’t delay calling the band any longer. I stop to watch her sleeping peacefully for a few seconds before ducking out of the bedroom.
It takes a several phone calls to track down the band’s hotel. I’d left my itinerary along with everything else in my room.
Finally, I get Alvin on the line and explain what happened as plainly as possible.
“Is Mallory okay?”
“We’re getting there. I’m going to be a few more days, though.”
He’s silent. Alvin’s not one to thoughtlessly run his mouth, but I expected him to say something. “Bro, have you watched any of the tabloid shows?”
“Fuck no. Why would I watch that shit?”
“I think you should have a look tonight. Dirty Headlines is running a piece about you guys at seven.”
“About my fiancée’s miscarriage? Why?”
“It’s not quite about that.” There’s a muffled rustling sound in the background. Alvin yelps.
“Alvin?”
He comes back on the line. “Jacob wants to talk to you.”
Just what I need.
“Chaser! Where are you?” Jacob shouts. “You’ve gotta get here for tonight’s show.”
I glance at the clock. Even if I left right now, there’s no way I’d make it on time. “Can’t. I’m sorry. I don’t know if Alvin told you, but—”
“Alvin didn’t need to tell us anything. Why the fuck were you even trying to have a kid right now?” His vile outburst shouldn’t surprise me but I pull the phone away from my ear and stare at it for a few seconds. He’s still ranting when I return. “We’re on tour for the next few months! Not the