door, who was giving each team instructions.
Alice and I headed that way. A few other people were already waiting. Emily and Donna had their packet already and seemed antsy to get going. Carlos had been paired up with Coach Gordo, who was wearing his reflective car-pool safety vest. Everyone had that look—of being awakened from a dead sleep and hurtled straight into a state of maximum adrenaline.
Just as Alice and I arrived for instructions, Duncan came around a corner and saw me. He was walking with one of the officers, and at the sight of me, he slowed to a stop and stared for just a second.
There are no words to describe the sting of humiliation I felt at the sight of him—and, specifically, at the sight of him seeing me. It hijacked my entire body so tightly I felt like one big charley horse. It was physical. It was agony.
And then it was over.
There were bigger things going on. Another officer came up to Duncan with some new piece of urgent news, and he turned and walked off.
Fair enough. We had a situation.
As I watched him walk off, I had to mentally remind myself to breathe and relax.
He was still in the suit he’d been in yesterday, the suit he’d been wearing as he plunged into the ocean after me—probably still damp. His oxford shirt was dry, but stippled the way shirts are when they haven’t been pressed. His navy blue tie was nowhere to be seen. His shirt was open at the collar.
I couldn’t entirely read his reaction to seeing me—partly, I’m sure, because my reaction to seeing him was so intense. The moment was over almost as soon as it started, but the aftereffects lingered, aching for a long while after.
I knew he’d be there, of course. He was the principal. He was in charge—on the school end of things, anyway. But I hadn’t had time to plan. At minimum, I’d hoped to avoid eye contact. I’d figured he’d be off in some far corner working in some kind of makeshift headquarters, not just wandering around loose like that making random eye contact with the lovelorn.
What was that eye contact, anyway? What had I seen in his eyes? Surprise, maybe? Or maybe fear? God, was I that scary?
I had just about refocused my attention on the moment at hand, when I saw him walking back toward me. He was holding up a hand, like Be right back, to the group of officers he’d left behind
He came up beside Alice and me. She looked at him, then at me, like What’s going on here? But, to her credit, she didn’t say anything.
Duncan gave Alice a nod, and then he turned to me. “Hey. You’re here.”
The stinging of humiliation came back and took me over. I almost couldn’t look at him. I stayed totally still. “As are you.”
“I just—wasn’t sure if you’d be up for it.”
“There’s nothing that could have kept me away. Clay might be my favorite kid on the planet.”
“Where are they sending you?”
“Seawall.”
“Okay,” he said, like he was making a note of it. “Be careful.”
And that’s when his tone shifted a little, and rather than just being all business, he edged a little closer, like he was going to say something more personal. “Are you—” he started.
But that’s when the officer giving instructions to the search teams barked, “Okay, folks, listen up.”
Duncan gave a quick nod and stepped back.
The officer went on. “Cover your area and your area only. Text or call any of the numbers on your sheet if you see anything. Mostly, you’ll be walking, using your flashlights to check for anything out of the ordinary. The child was in gray uniform pants and a white shirt. He had black sneakers. He had a blue backpack with school items in it, and also several comic books and some kind of reference book about marine life. You’re not just looking for the kid himself. If you see a shoe, if you see a backpack, if you see a book lying in the street. Do not touch it. Take a picture. Note your location. Call us and we’ll send officers to determine the next step.”
“Are we worried he’s been abducted?” Carlos asked.
“Right now, he’s just missing,” the officer said. “He left of his own will. But he’s a nine-year-old on the streets at night. Anything could have happened since then. We have to consider every possibility, and we need to move fast, so be thorough but