my God, you were pregnant with Julian’s baby.” The disbelief was evident in Clara’s voice.
The pain hit her so fast that she wasn’t sure how she had managed to stand. The breaths she took didn’t feed her lungs, they merely swirled inside before she exhaled and attempted again. Numb. After all her years of searching for it, she had finally felt it. She didn’t feel. Someone new had heard the truth. She hadn’t confessed in two years.
“You have to tell him.”
“I can’t,” Stevie replied in a weak whisper. “It’ll kill him.”
“It’s killing you! I can see it. That’s why you’re so afraid to be with him. That’s why you panicked when my brother and his fiancée announced their pregnancy… That’s why you really asked if I used protection when I lost my virginity to Noel.”
“Stop, Clara. Please. Just please,” Stevie begged. It was easier with Charles because somehow he understood. He was calm. Sophie had walked in at the moment she told the truth about why she had run. But Clara was too involved to see why Stevie couldn’t tell him. Why she couldn’t come clean.
“I love you, Stevie. But—” Clara stood up and grabbed her hands. “I don’t think you should continue to grieve this on your own. I can see it in your eyes. You blame yourself for something you can never change. I understand blame. I also understand regret. And I know what self-punishment is like. Don’t keep torturing yourself. Julian will understand. I know him. And I know he would never blame you for something you couldn’t help. It wasn’t meant to be. The only way you’ll free yourself is if you tell him.”
Stevie hadn’t realised she was crying until she felt the tears roll down her face. “When did you become so wise?”
Clara smiled and then squeezed Stevie’s hands in hers. “When I realised my mistake was leaving Noel. I learnt and understood it all the moment I realised I was going to lose the love of my life and never be that happy again. I hate that I’m leaving for my honeymoon minutes after being told my best friend… you know. Promise me you’ll tell him. He deserves to know. It doesn’t have to be today or tomorrow. It just has to be someday.”
“You sound like Charles,” Stevie pointed out. A sad smile had crossed her lips. The missing him stung her chest. He was the one who understood first and understood her best.
“Who’s Charles? Should I hate him?”
“Someone I loved after Julian. He made me better. And no, you shouldn’t. You should probably thank him for saving my life,” Stevie revealed.
Clara’s smile was as sweet and as wholesome as ever. “Someday, I will. Now come give me a hug. I can’t believe this is goodbye. I feel like I’ve barely scratched the surface of all that’s Stevie Appleton. I just learnt you were French at my wedding!”
And now you know I miscarried.
And about Charles.
You’ve dug deep, Clara.
Stevie stepped around the table and wrapped her arms around the friend she would miss completely. “Au revoir, Clara Parker,” she whispered.
“Someday, you’ll tell him. And when that day comes, you will finally be able to live your life, Stevie. Trust me. The truth is what set me free.”
When Stevie broke the hug, she only smiled to appease and give Clara reassurance. But instead, she knew the truth would never truly set her free.
Not when it’ll release my demons.
Stephanie didn’t say a word as she unlocked her apartment door and pushed it open. Then she stepped inside and walked down the hallway before she stopped. She let her handbag fall to the ground, along with her keys. The car ride back from the airport had remained silent. There was no smile or even a hint of emotion on her face. All Stephanie did was stare out of the passenger window as he drove them away from the airport. Something consumed her thoughts. And Julian knew that her talk with Clara ignited it. Just when he thought she’d finally open up to him, she retreated into her insecurities and secrets.
“Whitley sports’ advertisement included a campaign against breast cancer,” he said out loud. Julian hadn’t entered the apartment. He was too afraid to see that brokenness in her eyes, unsure of whether it was her past or the fact that her best friend had left that upset Stephanie.
“What?” she asked once she had spun around.
There. Bright and unmissable. The brokenness in her eyes couldn’t be ignored. It lured him