give it back to you. It’s what’s gotten me to wake up every lonely day that I’ve lived since you walked out of my life.” The sadness in his voice had Stevie turning to face him.
Julian was dressed in jeans and a tight shirt. She had missed his suits. When she took in his face, he had gone unshaven, the colour in his eyes had dimmed, and he just looked tired and defeated. It had been almost a month since she’d last seen his smile.
Stevie then flicked through the book to find the sonogram nestled between the pages. “I was going to find you,” she repeated and glanced up to meet his eyes. “I wasn’t going to let my child not know its father. I’m not cruel, though my actions may state otherwise. I knew deep down that the reality of us being a happy family was a fantasy, but I wasn’t going to keep it from you. You accused me of many things, but I loved that baby. That baby was half of you.”
The pain and regret flashed through his eyes. “I wanted it. That baby. I wanted it more because it was our baby. And knowing that it doesn’t physically exist killed me inside. I’m so sorry I did that to you. Accused you having an abortion when I didn’t give you a chance to explain. I got you fired because I wanted to hurt you and that was terrible of me to do.”
The tears Julian cried could bring her to her knees. She saw the vulnerable side of him. She was witnessing his despair. She saw his love.
“You said ‘I love you, Stevie,’” she pointed out.
Julian nodded. “That’s what you wanted. Me to call you Stevie.”
With a shake of her head, she took one step towards him and then another until she pressed her right hand on his cheek. “I’m Stephanie. I’m your Stephanie. I’m everyone else’s Stevie, but you get to have that part of me. I was going to tell you. I just needed you to be a little patient with me. I love you, Julian. So much so that it still terrifies me and liberates me. I was free the moment you came into my life. There was never a before.”
His facial expression softened as if he was in awe or relieved. It was beautiful that the light in his eyes returned. “God, Stephanie.” He pressed his forehead against hers. “I thought I lost you. I’m sorry for being such a fucking fool and for taking days for me to realise the truth and come to my senses. Please forgive me?”
“I don’t know,” she teased.
“Oh.”
She peeked at him through her lashes. “I’m kidding. You’re my all-in, remember?” Then she lowered her hand and smiled up at him.
“You’ve always been mine. From the second I saw you reading that book. I love you, Stephanie,” he declared as his hands cupped her face and his lips found hers. This. The way he kissed her. The way his soft, passionate kisses sealed his name on her heart was what caused her to give up total control. Kissing Julian was like falling in love with him all over again—new, beautiful, and absolute wanderlust.
The moment he pulled back, he whispered, “I’ve loved you from the very start, and I’ll love you until the very end. Us being parents wasn’t meant to be but it doesn’t mean it won’t ever happen. I love you, Stephanie Élise Appleton.”
Sometimes you get to feel the most incredible things because of the most incredible people.
That’s when you understand and accept that life is pretty amazing.
Because if you don’t, you’ll never know what you left behind.
And Julian is my future.
Three weeks later
“I don’t want to talk about it!” Stevie shouted as she entered her apartment, dropped her bag by the hallway table, and threw her keys down on it.
Dragging her feet, she made her way towards the lounge room to find her boyfriend sitting on the couch with stacks of fashion magazines around him. Almost three weeks ago, Julian had packed up his apartment and quit his job in Sydney to move to Melbourne to be with her. It didn’t surprise Stevie when she took in the mess he had made in their lounge room. It didn’t take long for him to make the apartment theirs.
“We’re talking about it, Blondie,” Julian said, flipping through a copy of French Vogue. He glanced up and grinned at her. “How was uni?”