Jarred: You may have to go to Sydney. Annie heard from Max that he was going back soon. I’m not sure if he’s left already.
Sydney.
Staring at her phone, she felt her heart dip. Sydney was huge. Stevie wasn’t sure where he lived. Tomorrow, she’d check with Max and try to get Julian’s address out of him. And if that didn’t work, she’d get in touch with the number Rose had given her for a private investigator. Four years ago, her stepmother hadn’t asked questions when Stevie had asked how she’d find someone she met in Thailand. She only handed Stevie the number of a friend of hers who she had grown up with. When she had miscarried, she had disregarded finding Julian.
A knock on the door had her sitting up in Ally’s bed. She then got off the mattress and left the room. She waited in the hallway, staring at the front door, for another knock. When she didn’t hear another one, she breathed out and spun around.
“Stephanie?”
She froze.
“Stephanie, please.”
Another knock.
She’d know his voice anywhere. And by the way her heart raced, she also knew that she’d love him endlessly.
Julian let out a loud sigh.
“You don’t have to open the door. I know I don’t deserve it. It was the worse me that I’ve ever been. If the roles were switched, then I wouldn’t open the door either. Just know that it hurt. I wanted that baby. I wanted you to be the mother. I wanted us to be a family. But it didn’t hurt as much as knowing that I wasn’t there when you needed me the most. I should have been there when you saw that doctor. I should have been at the hospital when you miscarried. God, Stephanie,” he cried.
Stevie turned back around as tears ran down her cheeks. As much as she willed her legs to move towards the door, she couldn’t. She was cemented in place.
“I handled it badly. I’m so sorry. I couldn’t let go of the girl I met on the beach. I couldn’t forget her laugh or her smile. I couldn’t forget how she looked at the world with this sincerity. I was in love with that girl. And I’m still in love with that girl. If she’s gone, then I have to accept that. But the Stephanie I’ve gotten to know since the wedding, I’m in love with her more. Because she’s seen so much more in life and I have so much more to learn from her. I never gave her a chance. That’s one of my biggest regrets. I know I have to walk away. I…”
That was when she remembered her mother’s message.
“He had this way of expressing his love for her in the way he spoke of her.”
He loved the Stevie who she was more than the Stephanie he had met.
“I know there is better out there for you. But I’m hoping that you could show me what a better person is, Stephanie. My actions alone aren’t deserving of you or your love. Just because you love someone doesn’t mean you deserve to have them love you back. And I shouldn’t be trusted with your heart. I made that clear. I hope someday you’ll forgive me.” The pleading in his voice had her covering her mouth and stifling the sob that had tried to escape behind her palm.
“I’ll let you go but not before I return this to you. It belongs with you. I’ve held on for too long. I’ll leave it by the door.” Julian paused. “I love you, Stevie,” he confessed and that was when she heard his retreating footsteps.
I love you, Stevie.
Not Stephanie. Not the eighteen-year-old, but the person she was now. Her feet made the next decision for her. When she reached the front door, she yanked it open, ready to start new with him. However, returning to Julian’s arms was halted when she noticed what he had left on the ground outside her apartment door.
Slowly, she bent down and picked it up. Her fingers brushed against the black cover of the book. Then she traced every single stain, tear, and fold. She knew this copy of To Kill a Mockingbird. It was hers. The one she thought she had lost forever.
“You left it in my villa,” he said softly.
Stevie blinked hard and teardrops landed on the cover. “You’ve had it all this time?” she asked in wonder, her eyes on the book.