left on the planet the more I gain a sense of belonging right here.’
‘I get that. Age crystallises things in a way that’s hard to explain to anyone that hasn’t experienced it.’
Simon laughed. ‘That’s because old age is what happens to other people! I know I don’t see myself how I used to view people of my age when I was young; goodness no. Anyone over fifty was ANCIENT!’
‘I feel old sometimes, Simon. Like I’m slowing down and everything I do takes slightly longer. The speed at which I take the stairs and even chew a biscuit is now sluggish, slightly laboured. I’m worried that one day soon I might come to a complete halt!’
‘You don’t look like a woman that is coming to a halt, Kate; you look to me like a woman that is on the edge, about to dive in, about to start over.’
‘Ooh, I like that. I like the idea of starting over and having new adventures before slipping gently into old age. Much better than suddenly hitting a geriatric wall and having the bricks rush up to meet me with such ferocity that I just want to shout stop!’
‘It won’t happen like that; you won’t have to shout stop!’
‘I hope not. What about you, Reverend Dubois, what does your old age hold?’
‘Oh that is definitely a topic for another day, over a cold beer.’
‘You drink then?’
‘Girl, you are so out of touch! I’m a preacher not a martyr! Everything in moderation, Kate, everything in moderation.’
‘You are an incredible man, Simon. The children are lucky to have you.’
He ignored the compliment.
‘Ah, Matilda!’
Kate turned from the sink to see her little friend hovering in the doorway.
‘Hello, Matilda, how are you? It’s lovely to see you again. I have put my little shell in a safe, special place and I look at it every day. It’s very beautiful.’
The little girl smiled.
‘Are you not playing cricket with everyone else? Did someone get you out already? I could tell you a very funny story about an important cricket match and two naughty chickens called Nugget and Kiev, if you have the time?’
Matilda hesitated, shoving the best part of her small, bunched-up fist into her mouth before deciding that no, she did not particularly want to hear that story. Besides, her best friend, Hans, had promised her a go on the tyre swing. She ran outside.
‘Is she shy?’ Kate was worried that she might have said the wrong thing.
‘No, far from it. But she hasn’t spoken since she arrived here. That was about nine months ago. She seems happy and settled, but we can’t get her to say a word. The doctor says there is no medical reason and so I’m confident that she will start talking when she feels she has something important enough to say.’
‘Did she used to speak?’
‘Oh yes! A lot! But she had a shock and it’s her way of coping. Children are wired quite simply and it’s her way of putting things in order, trying to make sense of her world.’
‘What happened to her?’ Kate whispered, not sure if she wanted to know.
‘It’s a common enough story, but no less sad because of it. She was with her daddy in a bar when he was stabbed in a knife fight. He died. Her mummy is not in a good place right now, battling her own demons, and so Matilda is here where she is loved, and when the time is right, God will find a way to heal her.’
‘Oh, Matilda…’ Kate felt an unbearable wave of sadness. Her daddy was stabbed to death. The name Matilda had fallen from her lips, but it could just have easily been ‘Lydia’ or ‘Dominic’.
‘You miss your children?’ It was as if he read her thoughts.
‘Yes, yes I do, very much. I ache for them. It’s rather complicated, I’m afraid.’
‘Can I assume it’s not only physical distance that prevents you from being with them?’
She nodded.
‘They were going to come here with me, it would have been perfect, but they changed their minds, need more time… It’s difficult. I don’t want to force them into seeing me, but at the same time I find it so hard to let things take their course, it doesn’t come naturally to me. I think I can heal them quicker, if they’d just let me.’
‘You know, Kate, it will pass, everything does. Your children will come to realise just how much you love them and how much they love you, I am certain. I’m sure