his way back to me. And I truly believe it was a one-and-done. He knows what he lost and he won’t risk it again. I’ve asked him for years to find a better place to live, and on our way to the boat yesterday, he drove me past this house he rented. It’s gorgeous.”
“Where is it?” Baker says. “I’ll buy it right out from under him.”
“Baker,” Ayers says.
“You said you have feelings for me,” Baker says. “You said you couldn’t stop thinking about me.”
“That’s true,” Ayers says. “Even on Monday before Mick proposed, one of the mothers from Gifft Hill was talking about this hot new dad, and I knew it was you and I was…jealous.”
“Think about that,” Baker says.
“I have been thinking about it!” Ayers says. “But Mick and I have been together a long time. He knows me. We have a life here that we built together, month by month, year by year. I can’t just throw that away for something new.”
“You can, though,” Baker says. “Because I’m moving to St. John tomorrow and I’m going to stay. I got a coaching job at Gifft Hill. I’m going to take scuba lessons…” He doesn’t know where this idea comes from, it just pops into his head, but it sounds good. “I’m going to work on getting my real estate license down there. I’m going to build a life, month by month, year by year, and I want you to be in that life. When I first saw you, I felt like I was the one who had been struck by lightning—only instead of dying, I came to life.” Is this corny? He can’t tell. “I made a decision then and there that I was going to marry you. So you can hang up with me now thinking you’re going to marry Mick. But I promise you, I promise you, Ayers, that I can do better than Mick. I will be true and steadfast and devoted and crazily in love with you until the day I die. I will never have any hiccups. Ever.”
Ayers is quiet.
“If a proposal is what you want, then you have one from me. I want to marry you as soon as I’m legally able.”
“You barely know me,” she says, but her voice is softer. He’s getting to her, maybe.
“We can worry about that later.”
Ayers laughs, but her laugh is cut short. “Oh, hey,” she says. “Maia is calling in on my line, and I should take it. It’s late and she never calls me this late. She never calls me at all, she only texts.”
“By all means, take it,” Baker says. “I hope everything is okay.”
“Me too,” Ayers says. “I’ll let you know. Bye.”
Baker stares at the blank screen of his phone. If Floyd weren’t asleep, he would play the Clash’s “Should I Stay or Should I Go?” at top volume. What the hell—he finds his AirPods and cranks the song up.
If I go, there will be trouble.
And if I stay it will be double.
Repeat song, repeat song, repeat song.
During his fourth time through—Baker is still waiting for the answer to be revealed—he sees a text from Anna. What does she want? he wonders.
Louisa and I have some concerns about you uprooting Floyd, the text says. Please hold off on your move until we talk. I should have some time for a conference call next week.
“Ha!” Baker says to the empty living room. “That’s rich. That’s really rich!” ‘Louisa and I have some concerns’ means that Louisa has concerns, because Anna said she was ‘K’ with it last week.”
Baker knows the text should persuade him to stay put, but it does exactly the opposite. Louisa has concerns about Baker uprooting Floyd to take him to St. John, but Anna and Louisa uprooting Floyd to take him to Cleveland was fine?
Ha!
Ha!
Another text comes in, and Baker assumes it’s Anna burying herself even further—she doesn’t even have time to talk about it until next week!—but the text isn’t from Anna.
It’s from Ayers.
Maia saw Mick kissing Brigid on the beach tonight. I’m giving the ring back.
Baker shuts the music off and heads upstairs to bed. He has an early flight in the morning.
Rosie
January 1, 2015
Love is messy and complicated and unfair.
I see Russ when he’s here, which is every few weeks for a couple of days. I’m elated for forty-eight hours before he arrives and devastated for forty-eight hours after he leaves. Actually, the leaving part is getting worse.
I see him often enough that it’s getting hard