his struggles. He still spells phonetically, and his handwriting is worse than any other physician’s I’ve ever seen. It’s slow going.”
She stared at him for a moment. “What are you hoping to actually find?”
“Something that tells why or gives an indication that he was losing touch with reality. Something I may have missed. These journals were in a filing cabinet under the hospital evacuation manual and standard operating procedures. They were hidden. If I hadn’t been there when maintenance jerked the cabinet away from the wall to replace the computer cord, I wouldn’t have heard them rattling inside. I want to know why Henedy hid them. There’s something he doesn’t want found. I’m going to find out what—and why.”
“Maybe it wasn’t something you missed.” She stared at him, her eyes big and dark—and hurting. “Maybe it was something else. Something I did. He came right at me. He didn’t even hesitate to look around to see who was in there first. He walked right up to me and shot me. Doesn’t it make sense that it was because of something I did, then?”
He threw the journal down on the dinette. He didn’t even have to stretch to be able to reach her across the van. He wrapped his hands around her waist and met her. Almost nose to nose. “Hell, no. You didn’t do a damned thing to cause what he did. Not a damned thing, Izzie. There was something broken in him that caused it. Nothing else. It was because of him. Not you.”
She shook her head. “In my head, I get it. But deep down…I just keep wondering what I did to deserve this.”
“Have you spent this whole time thinking that?” he asked softly. It was the most personal comment she’d ever made to him. It practically broke his heart at the pain he heard.
“It’s the only thing that makes sense, isn’t it? I did something to make him angry so he came at me. Otherwise, it was so random.”
“It’s more likely that it was to get to Nikkie Jean.” He’d watched the videos over and over. Henedy had barely looked at Izzie before he’d pulled the trigger. “She most likely pissed him off while they worked together. Or learned something about him he didn’t want getting out.”
“He was attracted to her. He asked her out, right before she met Caine.”
“I didn’t know that. But it makes sense. Apparently, he likes younger women. Maybe he was pissed at her and Caine? There are rumors going around about billing fraud. At FCGH and at Barratt County. Wallace was most likely involved. Maybe he attacked you and Nikkie Jean to get to Caine? Or he suffered a breakdown and started randomly shooting. We’ll figure it out. I promise. I’m not going to stop until I do.” He made her a silent vow to go with his verbal promise. He wasn’t going to let her ever go on thinking that she had any culpability whatsoever. She’d been dancing along with Nikkie Jean and Wallace had shot her. No rhyme or reason. No blame. Nothing she had done had caused what happened.
“I’m not so certain I even want to know anymore. I’m afraid of what I’ll find out. Can’t I get on with my life instead of being stuck in this limbo somehow?”
Allen couldn’t help himself. He scooped her up and onto his lap. Allen just held her, wanting to comfort.
67
Allen had the van disconnected, slides in, roof down, and breakfast ready before she even woke. After she took a quick shower in the wet bath, cast wrapped in a trash bag, they were ready to go.
Izzie hadn’t said much more than good morning and blinked up at him with sleep-softened brown eyes that made him want to snuggle her right back into the bed.
Izzie liked to cuddle in her sleep. He’d enjoyed almost every minute of it. Being clubbed in the head with plaster had been the only thing he hadn’t. Even that had been worth it to hold her. He’d kept his hands in purely respectable places—she had definitely not given permission—but he’d enjoyed the warmth and feel of her next to him.
It had put him in a damned good mood when he’d woke.
The sun was just popping over the horizon.
It took him until almost an hour to convince her to take something stronger than aspirin. The woman was the most obstinate creature on the planet that he had ever seen. He had once thought Nikkie Jean held that honor.