the past—a place I don’t let it go often.
“I’m not pregnant.”
I’d been pacing her bedroom outside of her small bathroom for three whole minutes waiting on the outcome. When Lilah had said she missed her period, I flipped the fuck out. If I got her pregnant, Dad would kill me. I didn’t even want to imagine what her dad would do to me.
“Come out here,” I thundered from the other side of the door.
She cracked the door open and her tearstained cheeks showed proof that she was crying. I pushed into the small space and enveloped her in a bear hug. While I squeezed her, I glanced over at the test and breathed a sigh of relief to see that she was telling me the truth. I wasn’t even eighteen yet and she’d just turned sixteen. Our lives would be over if we had to take care of a baby.
“Why are you crying?” I questioned while I stroked her brown hair.
She sniffled. “I don’t know. I kind of hoped that we would have a baby. That we could get married and be a family.”
I tensed at her words. As much as I loved Lilah, I wasn’t ready to be a dad. Her dad was a fucking asshole so I knew why she would have loved to leave home and create a new family. But, I actually liked my parents. I was in no hurry to grow up fast.
“In time,” I promised, “I’ll get you away from here.”
She gripped my black T-shirt and started tugging it off me. I hadn’t been in the mood but the moment she rubbed my cock through my jeans, I hardened immediately. We just got through a pregnancy scare and I was ready to be inside of her again. This time, though, I wouldn’t forget the condom.
“Make love to me, Warren,” she begged.
We made quick work of shedding our clothes and once my dick was safe inside the rubber, I lifted her onto the countertop, shoving the test away, and entered her forcefully.
“Yes,” she shrieked and leaned her head up against the mirror while I drove into her. My mouth found her neck and I suckled her flesh there, loving the taste that was her.
“War,” a sweet moan, yet an unfamiliar one, drags me from my distant memory and I freeze.
I’m pressed up against Baylee, my dick grinding into her belly with my teeth nipping at her bottom lip. Her fingers are threaded into my hair and are gripping me desperately. For one brief second, I am able to enjoy the moment of having her—if only for a short time—before the monsters who’d been semi dormant start raging in.
What if I lost control and sunk my teeth into her lip?
Would the blood spray all over my white kitchen?
Would she bleed out all over the tile, saturating everything in its wake?
Shit!
I slam my eyes closed and jerk away from her ignoring the burn on my scalp where she’d been gripping my hair. My dick throbs painfully but it isn’t that head that’s winning this war.
I touched her.
I kissed her.
I tasted her.
I nearly dry fucked her against the countertop in my kitchen.
Are her panties wet?
“Fuck,” I hiss out and scrub my palms with my cheeks. “Fuck!”
Her concerned voice attempts to wade through the darkness in my head but as it nears I swat at the air in front of me.
“S-S-Stay away!”
I stumble back until I crash into the edge of the stove behind me. My mind screams to get to my bathroom—to wash my mouth and my hands and my cock. If I could wash my soul, I’d do that too.
What the fuck have I done?
War. War. War.
My name is a worried chant over and over again in the kitchen but I scream at it. I swat at it. I threaten it. With each breath I take, I will it away. Just go the fuck away.
The sobs only feed the darkness inside me. I don’t understand why she’s crying but it makes me fucking crazy. It’s too much. I have to get away from her.
Away.
Away.
Away I go until I’m in the hot shower in my bathroom scrubbing her from me. All of the places I touched her. The places she touched me. I want it gone.
It isn’t until I’m redressing that the black storm dissipates. I blink my eyes in confusion as I wonder why I flipped my shit. I was lip locked with the woman whom I’ve been obsessing over in the past week and I’m too