“Just forget it. I’ll see you later.” I turned and walked off. At least the trip wasn’t a total wash; my mom had agreed to attend the Grant Foundation Gala as my date.
“Nolan. Wait.”
I kept walking.
My brother fell into step with me. “What is going on with you?”
“LI stuff. Don’t worry. I’m handling it.”
“I’m not being accusatory. I’m genuinely worried about you.” He paused. “I have been since before Dad’s heart attack.”
“Great.”
“Why won’t you talk to me?”
I poked the button for the elevator. “Because I don’t know what the fuck to say, all right?”
We stepped inside the elevator doors. I was grateful we weren’t alone because I knew Jax wouldn’t continue our conversation in front of strangers.
As soon as the doors opened, I made a beeline for the parking lot and my freedom.
But Jax’s long stride kept up with mine. When we reached my car, he leaned against the driver’s-side door, denying me access. “I’m done being patient and hoping you’ll confide in me. Neither of us is going anywhere until you talk to me.”
I shoved my hands in my pants pockets and glared at him.
“Every time I’ve brought up how things are going at LI, since I walked away from there months ago, you either A) make a self-derogatory comment about your position in the company, or B) you ignore it and me and blow me off. Why?”
“Lemme ask you this. Didn’t you assume all the years that you played hockey that when you were done, you’d take your place at the helm? Everyone knew you, as the oldest Lund in this generation, would be named CEO. When did that change?”
Jax studied me for a moment before he spoke. “It changed when I realized I didn’t have the skill set to run the company.”
I nodded. “Like any faith in your business acumen had been misplaced.”
“How did you know . . . ?” He shook his head and vehemently said, “Fuck that, Nolan. You are in a different place entirely as far as understanding the business than I was.”
“No, I’m not and that’s the reality I’m facing now.”
“Who made you feel like this? Brady? Ash? The uncles? Because I will kick every one of their asses—”
“Goddammit, will you just listen to me? If you want to know where my mind’s been, then you need to shut up so I can tell you.”
“Shit.” He scrubbed his hands over his face. “Sorry.”
I moved to stand next to him, resting my backside against the car. “I hadn’t realized how much I’d counted on you being named CEO . . . until you decided you didn’t want that.”
He didn’t respond.
“It caught everyone off guard, but me more than anyone else. Especially when Dad named me as second choice almost right away.” I crossed my arms over my chest. “I’ve had to pretend that decision had made me happy, when the truth is . . . I’m really far from qualified.”
“How do you figure?” Jax said tersely. “You’ve been working there since you graduated from NYU with a damn business degree.”
“But how much work did I put in? Nothing like Ash, Brady and Annika, who worked there while they earned their degrees. I lived in NYC and had the full college life experience away from home. I even took a gap year after college to travel around the world—the stereotypical rich boy request of needing freedom before settling into the daily grind of a family business. Walker’s the only other one who didn’t stick around following high school graduation and follow the Lund family college plan. Even Dallas did more—part time at LI while she was in school—than I’d done as a full-time employee.”
My brother had no response for that.
“I’ve had a lot of time to think about this, and trust me, it stings like a motherfucker to realize I am the lazy Lund. The No-Good Nolan that Granddad accused me of being. I’ve always gotten by with the minimum amount of work and yet reaped the maximum amount of financial benefits. I’ve been able to cultivate my reputation for charm because I worked at it. Much harder than I did at any job I was assigned at LI. While I basked in seeing my name mentioned in the society pages of the newspaper, always with a beautiful woman on my arm, reveling in being named one of Minnesota’s most eligible bachelors, Brady and Ash were busting their asses learning the company from the inside out. I let them. I justified it by believing my