Want You Back - River Laurent Page 0,76

gone for a second opinion but I’d been young and naïve. And then I panicked and all I could think about was what a burden I would be to Alex.

Would he understand when I explained all that as the reason why I didn’t tell him about Kayden?

“Here we are,” he said, easing into an empty parking space. He turned off the ignition and turned to me. “Whatever happens, I’m here and I’ll always be. Okay?”

The anger was gone and all I saw was love in his eyes. My heart ached with so many things that I wanted to tell him but which I’d forfeited the right to.

I love you. So much.

I need you. I want you back in my life.

I tried to remember how my life and Kayden’s had been before Alex came back and failed. All I saw was darkness. He had splashed color back into our lives. Kayden was flourishing with the attention from two adults.

I tried but, on some evenings, I was too tired to play with him. When there were the two of us, one person was always ready to play with him.

“Okay,” I said softly.

We got out of the car and walked to the entrance of the building. It was nothing like the time I had gone to get my results after the eye tests. This time, even though I was nervous, I was bearing it well. I had Alex with me and I knew that whatever the outcome, unlike before I knew I had someone in my corner.

How I wish I’d not let my thoughts become so irrational back when we were married. I wished I’d given Alex a chance to be there for me. To fight with me. Instead, I’d focused on how much of a burden I would be and run.

But worse than that was keeping Kayden away from Alex. That was unforgivable.

The offices of doctors occupied half of the third floor. We walked up to the reception desk and introduced ourselves.

“Oh yes,” she said. “Doctor Mueller is waiting for you. He said to show you in as soon as you got here.”

Alex turned to me. “Do you want me to go in with you?”

“Yes please,” I said, my belly twisted in knots.

We followed the smartly dressed middle aged lady to a door on the other side. She held it open and beckoned us in.

I couldn’t see his features well but I could make out his graying hair and I made him out to be in his early sixties or so. He stood up and introduced himself. Alex introduced us then he and the doctor caught up about mutual friends.

“Please sit down,” he said.

He got right into it, asking me questions and jotting down some notes.

“We’re going to treat this like a new problem without considering your past diagnosis. That means that we’ll do a myriad of tests and take it from there. How does that sound?”

He had a reassuring manner about him. An authoritative yet gentle voice and a manner that made me feel that I was in safe hands. “Sounds good.”

The next couple of hours passed by behind machines and eye drops. None of the tests were invasive and I was relaxed throughout. When we were done, Dr. Mueller told us to return on Thursday for the results, which was perfect as we were leaving for Amy’s wedding on Friday afternoon.

“I liked him,” I told Alex on the way back. “Thank you I really appreciate your help. I know it must have been difficult to get an appointment that fast.”

“You’re welcome,” he said.

We talked about the wedding a little. I admitted to Alex how excited I was and nervous.

“Why nervous?” he asked.

“Amy emailed me last night. She decided to invite my sister and her family at the last minute and she’d accepted the invitation.”

I loved Amy but sometimes I wanted to strangle her. I wasn’t sure whether a wedding was the right place to reconnect with my sister. I’d hurt her deeply and I didn’t know how she would react to seeing me again.

I didn’t deserve a second chance with her.

“Good. You need to be surrounded by people who love you,” he said.

Are you one of those people? I knew that he loved me as a friend, but what I craved was to be loved like a woman. I’d missed that side of my life.

Charlotte

Back in Woodfield, we stopped by Lulu’s place to pick Kayden up. Alex went with me to the door and when Kayden saw him, he shrieked