Waiting For It - Allyson Lindt Page 0,34

apologize.

“I don’t hate anyone. I want you to be all right.”

A lump formed in my throat. Such simple words, and they were choking me up. “What if I’m wrong to be mad, though? What if the only reason it’s a big deal is because I’m making it one? If I let it go and moved on, everything would be fine.”

“Fine for whom? What does your gut tell you?” Lyn tsked.

Lies. Always lies. “To be mad. To forgive them. I don’t know anymore.”

“So listen to it.”

I rolled my eyes. “If you’re trying to be helpful, you’re not.” So why was my frustration sapping away?

“You’re fighting your instincts right now. I know you. If you stop telling yourself you’re wrong, and start believing you’re right, it’s going to help.”

“So I’m wrong to think I’m wrong?” I chuckled dryly.

She laughed. “I suppose yes, I am saying that. If you were home, I’d wrap you in a big hug. Until then, hug yourself and trust yourself. I do.”

So did Luke. He’d said so more than once. “If you insist,” I said.

“I do. How can I help?”

“I think you already have.” I couldn’t explain how, but I was feeling a little better. She made sense, even with such a short exchange. Lyn was amazing like that. “Thank you.”

We chatted a minute or two longer, made plans for the weekend, and then she had to get back to work. I needed to do the same, but I wasn’t ready yet. I had to sort out the wash of emotion clogging my thoughts. I leaned against the tree, eyes closed and face to the sun, until I heard a car.

I looked to see Chase parking a few spots away. I expected a clench in my gut, and there was a small one, but it was tempered by being happy to see him.

He approached, a plastic takeout bag hanging from one arm, and a drink holder with three cups of soda in the other hand. “Authentic Russian food. You can either eat with us or take yours and go somewhere else. I’ll understand either way.”

“Did you and Luke plan this?” The question popped out without consideration. I needed to know.

He shook his head. “I wanted to see you, and I thought this might get my foot in the door.”

“Food. You thought you could bribe me with lunch.”

“Not bribe, but sate. You always forget to eat, Annie.”

True. “Lunch sounds good.” And I could eat in the same room as them. I’d spent the last few hours with Luke. I didn’t have to talk to eat.

Chase’s smile was brighter than the sun and twice as soothing.

We rode the elevator back up and found Luke exactly where he’d been when I walked away. He smiled too, when I moved my computer to the side and accepted a takeout box from Chase.

Chase had gotten me pelmeni—dumplings filled with meat. We didn’t have a lot of variety in Salt Lake, but Lyn was eternally trying new dishes and comparing them to the local places as experiments for her café, and we got to be her taste testers. These weren’t quite as good as hers, but I was biased, and they were real close.

“I don’t think I’ve ever had Russian food before. This is good,” Luke said.

“The people who own the place are this great older Russian couple. Political refugees.”

Not something I heard very often when it came to other continents. “Like, former KGB or something?”

Chase’s smirk said he had a story to tell. “Like Romanovs.”

What?

“It’s my understanding that’s just a name these days.” Luke looked as surprised as I felt.

“Not to the people who hold it.” Chase leaned in. “Never tell a Romanov they’re just a name. So this man’s grandmother, back when the wall came down, saw the balance of power shifting and decided it was time for her family to fill the vacuum.”

And I questioned my decisions. “Bullshit.”

Chase held his hands up. “Honest to God, this is the story they tell. So Babushka had acquired a long list of friends in her life—she was everyone’s mother or sister or best friend—and she’d convinced several of the oldest and the youngest that it was time to rise up.”

I could almost picture that in my head. And I could see Chase spinning a similarly compelling argument, if he decided that was what the world needed.

“Since we’ve never heard of it, I’m guessing that didn’t go well.” Skepticism filled Luke’s voice.

Chase wasn’t deterred. “It was going better than you might think. Problem was, one