the pain of a thousand daggers right through his heart. “I didn’t know Amatroxin was linked to Tabofren when I went ahead with the merger. I had my suspicions.”
“So you jumped on it?” A pathetic laugh rippled through her. “You were willing to do anything to get it?”
“No. I was willing to do anything to keep it off the market. I had an idea what McKellen was planning. Grayson was in trouble. They’d dumped all their money into that drug. I stepped in to make sure Amatroxin didn’t go before the FDA. I put a stop to the process after we acquired the company. If anything, I lost money in that deal.”
“You expect me to believe that?”
“It’s the truth. That’s why McKellen showed up at my office. He was pissed that I’d terminated the project a second time.”
Disbelief swirled in her green eyes.
“Did you kill him?” she asked in a chilly tone.
“No.” When she glanced away, he set his jaw. “But I would have. If I’d known what he did to you, I’d have ripped his heart out with my bare hands.”
When she glanced back, he hoped she saw the truth in his eyes. “I would do anything for you.”
“Anything,” she whispered. “Including trying to cover up this whole mess by getting rid of Janet Kelly.”
“No.” He reached for her, but she stepped back. As his hand dropped to his side, frustration spurred his temper. “Do you honestly think I could do that?”
“Someone saw your car that morning. At her house. Before we even got there to try to talk to her. What am I supposed to believe, Ryan? You left me that morning. You said you were going to your office, but you didn’t.”
“And you believe I would go murder some woman?” Disbelief raged through him.
“I don’t know what to believe anymore. Everything I thought I knew is a lie!”
That vise tightened around his heart. She didn’t believe in him, not like he needed her to. She was pulling away, putting up those barriers he’d worn down over the last week.
“I didn’t kill anyone, Katie,” he said on a sigh. “I parked in the building garage that morning and walked three blocks to a private investigator’s office downtown. Someone must have used my car while I was there.”
“That’s convenient, don’t you think?”
“It’s the truth.”
“Why were you going to see a P.I.?”
“Because I wanted to find McKellen. I wanted to know if he was the one behind all this. I needed to make sure he wasn’t planning on hurting you again.”
She dropped to a bench on the deck. Curls tumbled across her face when her head fell into her hands.
He rested his hands on his hips and clenched his jaw as he watched her. He wanted to reach for her, but she’d made it clear she didn’t want him touching her. “Are you going to ask me if I tampered with the brakes too?”
“I know you didn’t,” she whispered.
Finally. Sensibility. He ached to hold her, to reassure her. He stepped forward. “Katie—”
“Who killed him?”
“I don’t know.”
Damp lashes lifted so she could look at him. “Don’t know, or won’t tell me?”
“I don’t know.”
“You don’t have any idea?”
“No.”
She pressed the heels of her hands against her eyes. “I don’t know what to believe anymore.”
Kneeling in front of her, he placed trembling hands on her thighs. “Believe in me. Believe in us. I love you. I wouldn’t do anything to hurt you.”
“Don’t you get it, Ryan?” she whispered. “You did hurt me. In the worst possible way.” Tortured emotions brewed in the depths of her emerald green eyes. “You made me fall in love with you. Then you took away the very trust that love was built on. How am I ever supposed to believe anything you say?”
The air clogged in his throat. She loved him. Her revelation was exactly what he’d wanted to hear since the day she walked back into his life, but never in a thousand years did he expect her to say it wasn’t enough.
She pushed his hands aside and rose.
Fear and heartache clawed at his soul. He was going to lose her if he didn’t do something to make this right. Rising, he fought back the tears stinging his eyes. “Katie, please.”
She wiped at her cheeks. “I can’t. I don’t even know you.”
“You do know me. You know everything that matters.” When she turned for the door, his voice hitched. “Please. I can’t lose you a second time.”
She paused with one hand on the door. “Don’t you understand,