drive, and his silence had anxiety coiling up in me like a snake.
“Render?” I called out.
He started pulling bags out of the trunk, his grip strong on the handle and his forearm flexed. He didn’t even look my way when I called his name, so I touched his arm to try and get his attention. The contact was like a zap of electricity. The moment our skin connected, smoke started to pour from his mouth and fingertips. His skin buzzed, and his fangs elongated. I snapped my hand back in shock.
“What the fuck?” I asked as the remnants of the wispy smoke disappeared. “Was that—”
“You transferred the Void to us,” Render explained in a dark voice without looking me in the eye. “I don’t know how you did it, but I can feel it inside of me.” He patted his chest to emphasize the point, and pain like shards of metal pierced my skin.
Oh gods. No.
I reached up for my chest, noting that my amulet was gone.
And I didn’t feel hungry.
I felt...nothing.
I reached out to touch him again, but he pulled out of my reach. I felt sick to my stomach, grief over my loss of identity battled with my guilt for what I’d done.
My entire life, I’d hated my powers. I’d cursed who I was and longed for a way out, hoped for an opportunity to feel normal and experience life with Reed. But now that it was gone, regret bloomed in my chest. How could I miss something I’d always hated?
Looking at Render, I knew how. The paragons had changed the course of my life, and it led me to finally accepting what I was. I’d learned not to fear it but respect it. But just when I’d come to terms with it all, it was gone.
My eyes moved across the pavement, and I saw we were on a tarmac. A flight crew was getting a small jet plane ready in the distance. Reed gave me a sad smile before walking over to it, giving us a bit of privacy as I processed the tumultuous feelings within me.
“I’m so sorry. I never meant to do this to you,” I whispered to Render as cool tears trailed down my cheeks. He hated me for cursing him with the Void, and my heart broke inside my chest. “It has to be reversible, right?”
Maybe Hyde could wake up Emilia again. Maybe she could teach me how to fix this. I’d never forgive myself if I couldn’t.
Render blew out a breath. “We don’t have time to figure it out. Right now, I need to get you on that plane and out of here before every supernatural in the fucking world finds you and tries to kill you. The entire council wants retribution, Devicka. The others stayed behind to try to get a handle on the situation, but...you can’t stay.”
More tears filled my eyes, and I shook my head, hating that this was my new reality. “No, no, no. This can’t be happening,” I cried while wrapping my arms around myself. How had things gone south so quickly? My entire body folded in on itself. This can’t be happening. I’d drained myself of my own power, and I’d given it to the ones who would never forgive me.
“Your dad arranged for you and Reed to stay on one of his private islands,” Render explained before adjusting the handle on a suitcase.
My dad knew about this?
“I had to do it,” I pleaded. “They wanted me to give them too much power. I couldn’t let that happen. And I couldn’t hurt any of you. I was just trying to keep you safe. Why won’t you just look at me?” I demanded, my voice sharp with panic.
Render finally turned to face me, a devastated look on his face. I felt his pain and his anger. I’d ruined him.
“Render, I’m so sorry. You have to understand. I never meant for this to happen. I swear to you, I’ll figure out how to take it back. I can’t eve—”
He ground his teeth together. “You think I fucking care?” he yelled as more smoke escaped him in angry waves. He looked terrifying. Was that how I’d looked? “You think I give two fucks about this?” he repeated, and I flinched, reeling from the anger in his voice. I knew the bond had been fragile, but now it was gone completely, emptied out of me right alongside my power. I felt a sadness deep in my bones that wouldn’t quit.