getting what she wants.”
“And the other side?”
“I need to know why.” I sighed. That was what it came down to—I wanted to understand why she betrayed me. To an extent, I could guess at some of the reasons, like her zealot parents, her need to belong, her desperation to stop feeling like a failure for not having an ability. But I still couldn’t understand why she’d done that to me. It felt so personal. “I want to look her in the eye and ask if our friendship ever meant anything to her.”
“OK, here’s my advice. Forget about this ‘giving her what she wants’ bullshit. It’s petty reasoning, and you’re better than that. Think about what you want and need. Really think about it, Eve. If you need to protect yourself emotionally from dealing with her again, then don’t go. If you think you’ll learn something or get some kind of closure from seeing her, then go. Just do what’s right for you.”
“Yes, but what is right for me? Tell me what to do, Harveyyy.” I dragged his name out on a whine. His advice was solid, but I still kind of wanted someone to tell me what to do. Or did I? I knew that if I went to Alec, he’d tell me to stay the fuck away from her, and I really didn’t like being ordered around.
“OK. Go talk to your four boyfriends about this. I’m happy to give you some advice, but this is big, and they need to know. Also, I still can’t believe you have four fucking boyfriends!”
I laughed. “You get used to it.”
“I bet. I could get used to it in a heartbeat.”
“Having four boyfriends?”
“What?! No! Clearly I meant girlfriends.”
“I don’t know if you could handle four women, Harvey.”
“You mean they couldn’t handle me.”
We both laughed.
When I hung up, I felt lighter. Zara had been a strong presence in my life, one of the only friends I’d ever made. She meant a lot to me, but she wasn’t my only friend. I had other people I could rely on—other people who had my back and wanted me in their lives. I had their support through this.
I dragged myself off the couch and went in search of my four boyfriends to tell them what was going on in my life. Look at that—I was learning not to keep secrets from my loved ones. All kinds of personal growth was happening today.
Seventeen
My gin and tonic was nearly empty, but I waited for Tyler to take his turn before deciding whether to finish the last of it.
“Come on, man! Say your thing!” Kyo chuckled, taking a swig of his beer. His other hand gently caressed Dot’s ankle. She was in Marcus’s lap on the couch, and Kyo was sitting on the ground next to them.
We were all in Josh’s room—me, my Bond, Alec’s team, Dot, and Charlie—keeping Alec company as he recovered. He kept saying he’d be more than happy to just shut himself in his room and . . . scowl at his wound until it went away or something, but I think he secretly liked us all taking care of him.
It had been only a week since his release from the hospital, but he was healing fast. He’d be going back to work the next day—office work only for a while, much to his ire. He was still on pain medication and not allowed to drink, but the rest of us were celebrating for him.
We were also secretly distracting Charlie from the fact that Ed’s visit had ended. He’d been moping around for the last two weeks, ever since his boyfriend had gone home.
Josh had put on some music, and “Want You Bad” by The Offspring was playing. He mouthed the words, his back to the bookshelves. Barefoot, in sweats and a Blondie T-shirt, he looked the epitome of relaxed.
“OK, got one.” Tyler leaned forward, casting his eyes over the group. Dot and Marcus were on his right, Alec on his left. One of Alec’s arms rested on the couch; the other held a soda casually between his knees.
“Never have I ever . . .” Tyler started, then paused until he had everyone’s full attention. Ethan shifted at my back, breaking off his conversation with Jamie about football or something. I don’t know—I tuned out any time sports came up. We were both sitting next to the fireplace, me between his legs.
The fire crackled, making the room slightly too hot, despite the cool early summer breeze