no desire to marry. His parents’ soulless marriage helped to confirm that decision. Yet, the moment he realised that marriage to Nicola would be something positive and even joyous in his life, he’d found rejection once again. Only this time the rejection from Nicola hurt far more than his parent’s had ever done. His parents’ deplorable behaviour was constant and he could always trust in that continuing, uncaring attitude they had, but with Nicola, he’d been blind-sided. He never saw it coming. Ever since that fatal night in front of the theatre when she had given him a look of utter loathing, he’d been captivated and intrigued. For her, he wanted to be good and decent, to earn her approval at every opportunity. Only, his boorish manners had revolted her, and rightly so. He didn’t know how to undo the damage.
He sighed, despondency weighing heavy on him. “You will write a letter of apology, Fran.”
“Yes.” She nodded, dislodging more tears. “Though I cannot blame her if she never reads it and I never hear from her again.”
His heart constricted at the thought. Despite Nicola’s refusal of his marriage proposal, which he knew was untidily done, his affections remained true. When had he known she was the woman for him, he wasn’t certain. Only, he couldn’t survive a day, an hour, without thinking of her. He ached to hold her and see that soft smile she wore. He wanted her like no other woman in his life and it damn well confused him no end.
“You have to go to her, Nat.”
Frances’s words broke into his thoughts and he jerked straighter. “Go to her? I think not.” The very idea brought him out in a cold sweat.
“Who else will plead my forgiveness? I hardly think she’ll agree to see me.”
He felt torn in two. Yes, he wanted to see her, but could he actually face her so soon after his rash proposal? Shaking his head, he went to the cabinet and poured himself more brandy. When had he ever been a coward? Not until Nicola Douglas entered his world and brought his heart to life.
“Please, Nat, please do this for me.”
“Haven’t I extricated you from enough situations?” He gulped from the glass.
Frances wiped her eyes with a white linen handkerchief. “I will beg if that is what it’ll take.”
He swallowed the rest of his brandy in one swallow. “Very well. I’ll go, but I hope you’ve learnt a lesson from this, Fran. Good friendships aren’t so thick on the ground that they can be ruined without thought.”
“I know, and you don’t have to lecture me, brother,” she snapped. “I hardly see you surrounded by that many men you can call friend.”
“Frances!” He stared at her in astonishment. “Will you control your mouth?”
She closed her eyes wearily. “I’m sorry. Oh, I am hateful.”
“You need a bridle,” he scoffed, lifting the brandy bottle to fill his glass again, only he paused, and set it back down. If he were to call on Miss Douglas a clear head would be wise.
“When will you go?”
“Tomorrow. In the afternoon. I have appointments in the morning.”
“Be sincere, Nat.” Frances gave a wobbly smile.
“Naturally.” He turned away to hide his shaking hands, hoping the amount of alcohol was the reason for it and not the thought of facing Miss Douglas.
* * *
“Nicola?” Meg lowered the morning’s newspaper. “Where are you going at such an early hour?”
“There’s an immigrant ship in the harbour, docked only last night. I’m going down to see if I can find some servants. A new employment agency has opened near Circular Quay.” Nicola straightened her pale blue skirts and adjusted her hat in the mirror above the fireplace.
“Well, find a cook if you can, breakfast was intolerable. A decent kitchen and house maid would be nice too.”
Nicola rolled her eyes. “I’ll do what I can. You could come with me, you know.”
Meg shifted slightly on the sofa. “Not today. I thought I might-”
Miss Nugent raced into the sitting room, waving a letter at Nicola. “Oh, Miss Douglas, you’ll never guess my excitement.”
“A position, Miss Nugent?”
“Yes.” Her face broke into a wide grin. “I have been accepted by a Mrs Farmer, from the Hawkesbury district. Isn’t that wonderful?”
Nicola patted her arm. “I’m extremely pleased for you.”
“Thank you. I am so relieved. I shall have three children to teach and an annual salary of seventy pounds. It’s not as much money as I’d have liked, but it is better than none at all.”
“I agree.” Nicola smiled, checking