a week? She feels terrible and has been beating herself up—”
“I didn’t do anything—”
Brooke talked right over me. “She hasn’t been sleeping. She’s been in the bar every night this week, bringing desserts for the staff, but any dumbass can see that she’s looking for your dumbass, and you haven’t come—”
“My back—”
“No!” she snapped. “I don’t doubt that you hurt your back, but you know what doesn’t hurt it? Speakerphone.” She tossed her hands up. “Or voice text. Or fucking FaceTime!”
“Iris deserves better!” I shouted.
Brooke froze, teeth clicking together.
“She fucking deserves better,” I said. “So, maybe I should have called or texted or fucking FaceTimed, but it was better that things ended now. Better for her to find out what kind of man I am now.”
It hurt, and I missed her more than I should have, considering I knew her all of a few weeks, but it was better that things were over. Better she found out I was a fucking asshole now, better she move on and find someone worthy of her. And if that sounded like playing the martyr, maybe it was, but dammit, I was trying to do the right thing.
And that right thing was having a clean break.
Brooke’s question was quiet. “What kind of man are you?”
I froze.
“Because the man I know,” she said, and I heard the tears in her voice, “is honorable and kind. The man I know served this country and protected my brother to the extent that his body is forever changed. The man I know struggled his way back from the edge and then helped me away from mine.” She released a shuddering breath. “So, why in the fuck does that man think that he doesn’t deserve all of the happiness in the world?”
My chest rose and fell rapidly. I couldn’t summon an answer to that, because I didn’t feel like the man she described. Not in the least.
“I think you do know that man,” she said quietly. “I think you know that man is still inside of you, still longing for more, but I also think that the man in here”—she tapped my temple lightly—“I think he recognizes that even though what you have with Iris is new, it’s also special.”
I shook my head, not sure which part I was disagreeing with.
“I also think that man is scared.”
My spine went ramrod straight.
“Because he knows she’s special and if he allows himself to care, if you allow yourself to care for Iris, to love her, that you’ll lose her, too.”
Fuck. Fuck.
No. I couldn’t be scared. I was trying to do the right thing by her, trying to—
Brooke stepped even closer. “Brent—”
I shook my head again.
“It’s okay to be scared.”
“No.”
“You’re allowed to feel this way.”
“No.”
“That makes you normal—”
“I’m a virgin!” I all but shouted. “I’m a fucking virgin, so even if I wasn’t a failure who couldn’t keep the guys in my unit safe, even if I couldn’t keep Hayden safe, even if I hadn’t taken too fucking long to get my shit together to look after you, even if all of those things didn’t happen, I’m still a fucking virgin.”
I’d rendered another woman silent.
I was starting to think that was my superpower.
Go me.
Brooke took my hand and tugged me toward the couch. I let her take me over, let her pull me down and sit beside me. “There’s a lot to unpack there, Brent.”
I ran a hand over my hair. “Look, logically I get all of the things you said, and I get that what I said isn’t logical because none of that is my fault and that it’s not really a big deal that I’m a virgin.”
“But?” She bumped my shoulder with hers, when I didn’t fill in the blank. “Your silence tells me that logic isn’t the problem.”
Yeah, it wasn’t.
“Okay, right. Since I’m just all about butting into everyone’s life tonight, I’m going to keep on rolling.” She straightened her shoulders, shook out her hands like she was a boxer getting ready to head into the ring. “Here goes. I know that I can’t take away the pain of what happened, what you lost, what it was like over there. I get that it doesn’t just magically disappear, just like the pain of losing Hayden never really goes away for me.”
Hearing her say that made a spasm of pain slice through me, and Brooke saw it, putting her hands on my shoulders and pulling me in for a tight hug. “But, that right there, honey. You can’t keep doing