an impasse when it comes to this group of yours.” He leaned forward, bracing his elbows on his knees and letting his head fall into his hands. “I can’t let her go out and do such dangerous work. I can’t lose her like that.”
“Then go with her,” Agnes said, as if it were the most logical solution.
“What?” He glanced up at her.
“If you’re that concerned, accompany her on her outings. She can apprehend the thieves and you can be there to step in should she need protection.” Agnes held up a finger. “But you should know that she won’t. She’s been trained, and she’s quite talented.”
“I’m not certain I can do that. I don’t think I can stand by and let her put herself in dangerous situations. And my making demands of her is bringing her nothing but pain.”
“And you think you are not hurting her now? Don’t be a fool,” Agnes said.
His heart pinched at the mere mention of Tilly being in pain. She was hurting. His sweet, beautiful Freckles. God, he hated that. Hated himself for bringing it upon her. Sullivan stood and walked to the window. He rubbed his hand down his face. “You don’t understand. Everyone I love, everyone I try to protect, dies.”
“Sullivan, that makes absolutely no sense.”
He had to laugh. Leave it to Agnes to not coddle him with such an admission but rather call him out. “I live for her smiles, her joy, her happiness. But if I lose her, it will destroy me. I’ve endured that loss and I can’t do it again. At least this way I won’t be there to witness it if anything happens to her.”
“What does that even mean?” Agnes asked.
“He’s protecting himself,” Fletcher explained.
Sullivan released a mirthless chuckle. “I have to protect someone. She won’t allow me to do so for her.”
“Tilly can protect herself,” Agnes said. “And you’re missing the primary point. She loves the Ladies of Virtue. This is who she is. She thrives on our tasks and assignments. And she’s good at it. You can’t love only the parts of her you choose and approve of.”
Agnes put her hand on Sullivan’s arm. He hadn’t even realized she’d walked up behind him.
“Don’t you understand that she spent her entire life living in the shadow of her sister?” Agnes continued. “This is something that belongs only to her. You cannot love her, not truly, if you do not see and accept her as a member of the Ladies of Virtue.”
“I just cannot.”
“Then you have lost her forever.”
The room fell silent, and Sullivan stared out the window at the darkening skies. When he turned, he found Agnes to be gone, but Fletcher still sat on the settee.
“How do you do it? Allow Agnes to go out there and risk her life?”
The man shrugged. “It is part of her. I love her. I love her skills. I think it’s attractive that she knows how to protect herself.” Fletcher wiggled his eyebrows. “You should see her wield a blade.”
They were quiet for a few moments before Fletcher spoke again.
“Do you know how I found out about what she did? I was following her, thinking I was protecting her, and she surprised me and put a knife to my throat.”
Sullivan felt his brows rise. He and Agnes had become good friends the last two years, but he’d never seen that side of her.
“It doesn’t scare you that she’s in over her head? That she’s going to accost the wrong sort of criminal and get herself killed?”
“Yes. It scares the hell out of me. But I know how well she’s been trained. She also designs weapons for the women to use so they can be armed at all times without people knowing it. She hides blades in fans and jewelry and parasols.” Fletcher chuckled. “The woman is a force. She’d likely cut my bullocks off if I tried to make her quit.” Fletcher stood. “Sullivan, I get it. When you love a woman you want to keep her safe all the time. But that isn’t the way the world works. We should count ourselves lucky that our women have skills to protect themselves. Most women do not. You just have to ask yourself, is loving her worth the risk of losing her. That answer will determine how you proceed.”
“Just that simple?”
Fletcher shrugged. “Love isn’t really that complicated. The heart is simple; it knows what it wants, who it loves. It’s our damn minds that mess everything up.”
Sullivan chuckled. “Never thought I’d