gave it a light squeeze, and waited. It took a couple of seconds, but then he felt Somin squeeze back. And he promised himself that he’d just take today. Make it a perfect memory. And then he’d let her go.
35
THE LINE FOR the air balloons was one of the longest, but they made small talk as they waited. Never touching on anything too serious. And neither addressing the spirits that floated through the park. Perhaps they both knew that they needed a reprieve. Somin could feel a tension in Junu that slowly sifted away as the line moved. She’d become so attuned to his moods, and now she found herself worrying about him. Wanting to comfort him. Wanting to be around him. She didn’t know what to do with that realization, so she just pocketed it to take out later.
As they settled in their assigned balloon, Somin said, “Thank you for today.”
“I’m glad it was helpful,” Junu said with a gentle smile. She loved the shape of this smile on him. It made his face look so different. Where Junu usually seemed so wickedly sly, now he looked young, almost sweet.
“Can I ask you something?” Somin asked.
“If I said no, would that even stop you?” Junu said.
Somin laughed because he was right. “Why do you always insist on acting like you don’t care about anything but yourself when you have the ability to be so kind?”
“Being kind doesn’t get you things in life,” Junu said.
“That’s not true. Being kind gets you friendship, family, love.”
“Not in my family it didn’t.”
This piqued Somin’s interest. She’d been wanting to know more about who Junu was as a person. What made him tick. What had shaped him into the strangely complicated person who sat beside her. And this was the first time he’d ever voluntarily mentioned his family. “You never talk about them. Why is that?”
“Because they’re not worth talking about.”
Junu tried to turn away, but Somin stopped him even as a part of her warned her to let this go. It was obvious Junu didn’t want to talk about this. But she had to know. She had a growing need to know more of him. And she was finally admitting it was because her feelings for him had grown beyond her control. It made her desperate for any scraps about the person who was embedding himself into her heart. “But they’re who raised you.”
“Well, that was hundreds of years ago. I’ve done a lot of living since then.”
“I hate it when you do that.” Somin huffed.
“What?”
“Use your immortality as a weapon against me. Because you know I can’t argue against it, since I have no idea what it’s like to be immortal.”
“Oh, have I finally made the great Lee Somin feel like she can’t be right about everything?”
Frustration washed through her. “I feel like I’m constantly on unequal footing with you. Even when I’m so sure I’m right, I feel like that doesn’t make a difference with you.”
Junu chuckled. “Because I’m immortal?”
“That. How nothing ever fazes you. Even the way you say my name ‘Lee Somin’ like you’re just toying with me. I don’t even know your family name. I feel like I’m lacking a tool when I can’t use your full name when I’m yelling at you.”
“Things faze me, but I’m just good at recovering. After centuries doing black-market deals with unreliable clientele, you learn how to hold your cards close.” Junu shrugged. “And despite what you might think, I don’t use a single name because I think it makes me sound cooler.”
Somin waited for him to continue, and when he didn’t, she asked, “Okay, then why do you do it? To keep up an air of mystery with your disreputable clientele?”
Junu shook his head. “No, it’s because that name is a reminder of my family. I don’t like remembering them. My mother was indifferent, and my father was very strict. They didn’t have much patience for me, probably because I wasn’t the good studious son they wanted.”
The raw emotion that sprinted across his face was such an unfamiliar sight that it took Somin by surprise. “I’m sorry,” she said.
“There’s nothing to be sorry about. They’ve been gone a long time now. I’ve moved past it.”
“That story you told me, about the boy who was a disappointment to his family name. Was that you?” Somin asked.
Junu’s silence was answer enough.
Let it go, Somin told herself. Don’t push at it. But she couldn’t help herself. “If it’s still upsetting, then maybe keeping it