you, one where you could only rely on me. I regret that.”
Miyoung wasn’t sure how true the words were, but something in her heart told her that this was truly Yena speaking, not some warped specter of her.
“You did your best,” Miyoung said. “And you made me strong. Strong enough to live without you. I can accept that now. I can let you go.”
Yena nodded, a small smile on her lips.
“Please, can I see my bead?”
And this time, when Yena produced it, she held it out to her daughter. “You have to make a choice now.”
Taking it in her palm, Miyoung closed her eyes. She felt the pulse. She felt the pull. It would be so easy to join with it again. But she could also feel the hunger. It spread through her veins; it wanted to consume her. It wanted to connect her to the moon in a way that would give her power as well as a prison.
And she knew that this wasn’t the life she wanted.
As she held the bead, she could feel her connection to it. And as she envisioned that bond, it appeared, a golden thread connecting her to the yeowu guseul. She took it between her hands. It should have been delicate, but it pulled tight and strong, like steel. She yanked at it and could feel a slice of pain. She pulled again, and the agony increased, like fire rising up to encompass her, to fill her.
With a final yank, she let out a scream. It felt like a thousand knives stabbed through her as the thread finally broke. And she felt the bead dissolve, turning to dust in her palm. And her body became numb as her energy drained. Leaching out of her until she felt hollow. Until she felt nothing.
64
JUNU STARED AT Miyoung’s still body. She wasn’t waking up, no matter how much Somin shook her and called her name.
Beside him, Sinhye let out a groan of pain. “Junu.”
She was pale and drenched in sweat. He knelt beside her, putting a hand over her brow. “You’re burning up.”
“This body is too weak,” she said. “I can feel it breaking down.”
“What happens if he dies with you still inside him?” Junu asked.
“I don’t know. But I can feel a darkness pulling me down. I can feel myself fading.”
“Release him. Please, Sinhye. Or you’ll both die.”
She shook her head, then winced as if the slight movement brought her pain. “I can’t. It’s like I’m rooted in this body. I can’t let go on my own.”
“Somin-ah,” Junu called. Urgency making his voice tight. At first, she didn’t reply. She was still trying to revive Miyoung.
“Somin, please.” Perhaps it was the desperation in his voice that finally got Somin to look up. She scrambled over, kneeling beside Sinhye.
“Are you okay?” But when Somin reached out, Sinhye jerked back.
“We don’t have much time,” Junu said, drawing Somin’s attention to him. “We need to get Sinhye’s soul out of Jihoon so his body can regain its strength.”
“But that would mean—” She broke off like she couldn’t say the words. “There must be some other way.”
“There isn’t and we don’t have time to sit around debating this,” Junu said.
“You don’t need to do this,” she said. “Please, I don’t want you to do this.”
He held Somin close, letting her sobs shake them both.
“I can’t let you lose Jihoon. He’s too important to you. And he’s also innocent. And he doesn’t deserve any of this.”
Somin’s fists turned to grab hold of his shoulders. “You were innocent, too. You never chose this either.”
“Even if I was innocent once, I’m not anymore.”
“That doesn’t mean you deserve to die,” Somin sobbed.
“Perhaps not, but it’s what needs to happen now.”
Somin cupped his face, her eyes taking him in, boring into his like they could see everything inside of him. “You were wrong about something.”
“I doubt it. I’m usually never wrong.”
“You said you’re broken. You said you can’t be fixed. But you don’t need to be fixed. You’re a good person, Jin Junu.”
“I’m not a person, Lee Somin.”
That earned a scowl from her. “This isn’t a time to make jokes.”
“I think this is the best time to make jokes. Why be a morose bore when I’m about to die?” Junu grinned his devil-may-care smile. He didn’t want to leave her with a vision of him in despair. Perhaps it was selfish, but he wanted her to remember him with joy.
He wanted nothing more than to stay here with Somin. But he couldn’t. He couldn’t